Day 56
2 As the teacher of God advances in his training, he learns one lesson with increasing thoroughness. He does not make his own decisions; he asks his Teacher for His answer, and it is this he follows as his guide for action. This becomes easier and easier, as the teacher of God learns to give up his own judgment. The giving up of judgment, the obvious prerequisite for hearing God’s Voice, is usually a fairly slow process, not because it is difficult, but because it is apt to be perceived as personally insulting. The world’s training is directed toward achieving a goal in direct opposition to that of our curriculum. The world trains for reliance on one’s judgment as the criterion for maturity and strength. Our curriculum trains for the relinquishment of judgment as the necessary condition of salvation.
I try to speak only from my own personal experience. So I could say a lot about resistance to giving up judgment, but I probably don’t need to. We all know what that feels like. When I first approached the idea as I read about it in the Course, it sounded undoable. I could not understand how it could happen. How was I supposed to survive in the world without judging things?
I slowly, a bit at a time, let go of my resistance as I became more and more willing to trust a Voice that came through my mind but not from my mind. (I speak of the mind as the ego-thinking mind.) I fully accept that I can and will let go of all judgment as I learn to listen to only that Voice. I am still resistant, but don’t doubt my true desire or my ultimate success.
I got a text last night from someone who wanted something from me. I am not interested in complying and my immediate thought was to ignore the text. I felt an immediate “tap” on my shoulder. I have asked Holy Spirit to help my vigilance and he was reminding me that this is not a decision I want to make on my own. Even at this moment I hear the ego saying, yes you do. Sigh. But no I won’t. I have no idea if I will comply or not. I haven’t received that guidance yet.
What I do know is that I have no idea what it is for and how it can be used for our awakening, so I will not make that decision on my own. The ego has a lot of reasons to say no and could come up with reasons to say yes, but they are all based on shifting perceptions, and not one bit of truth. At best, the ego might accidentally make a helpful choice, but why would I want to go with those odds when I have the Holy Spirit in my mind.
The Holy Spirit sees the big picture, wants only what is best for all, and knows how this can be achieved. Really, it is only a matter of purpose. As I remember my purpose, the choice is obvious. My purpose is to awaken from the dream of separation. It might seem like my purpose is to plan my day and avoid this interruption in my plans, but that is the ego’s purpose. My purpose is to awaken. I do this only as I accept that I was misinformed about learning to rely on judgment as the criterion for maturity and strength.
I said that I try only to teach from my own personal experience. Using that criteria, I can teach about needing to be vigilant because the ego self does not want to give up making its own choices based on its own judgments no matter how faulty. I can also say with an absolute certainty that if I step back from this ego desire, the answer that is needed will unfailingly appear in my mind, and it will be the answer that gives peace of mind, and brings me closer to the fruition of my purpose.
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