Day 80
8 Teacher of God, do not forget the meaning of sacrifice, and remember what each decision you make must mean in terms of cost. Decide for God, and everything is given you at no cost at all. Decide against Him, and you choose nothing, at the expense of the awareness of everything. What would you teach? Remember only what you would learn. For it is here that your concern should be. Atonement is for you. Your learning claims it and your learning gives it. The world contains it not. But learn this course and it is yours. God holds out His Word to you, for He has need of teachers. What other way is there to save His Son?
I had supper with my friend Alisha last night. What a teacher of God she is! Her life is the lesson she holds out to the world. When I am with her I learn serenity, peace, acceptance, and consistency. When I leave her my mind is calmer and I am happier. It is our lives that teach. Our words are just the caption under the picture. Sometimes the words are congruent with the picture and sometimes not.
I don’t wake up in the morning thinking, “Today I will be a good teacher of God as I do only this and this and this.” I don’t wake up thinking, “Today I will be a teacher of God so I will say only these words or those words.” I wake up thinking, “I choose to be God’s Teacher today. What would You have me do? What would You have me say?” I give my willingness. It is not a matter of self-will, of efforting. It is about surrender. I choose to surrender my self to my Self. Then I get to watch the show. Will Myron remember her purpose today? Will she live that choice?
Yesterday I asked for a way to loosen my hold on a stubborn grievance and I was given the reminder that the Son of God is innocent. This is true no matter what the story seems to indicate. That proved to be a very helpful practice and applied to so much more than the one person and one situation.
It was helpful, not because I said the words, but because I desired to be free of the grievance. You wouldn’t have guessed that considering how tightly I was holding onto it, but I did truly desire release. The ego part of the mind wanted to be right, but the Heart desired freedom. If I had not really wanted to let go of the grievance the practice would not have brought me release. It is the prayer of the Heart that is answered, not the words.
Holy Spirit, when I first became aware of a desire to surrender, my willingness was just a tiny seed. My practice has watered that seed and it has grown. I am grateful. This morning you have helped me to see that I have seen surrender as a willing sacrifice. I didn’t realize this. Thank you for the clarity. I know that God does not want my sacrifice. I am willing to do this in joy instead. I am willing to surrender happily. I may need a little help.
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