Day 85
5 The world will end in joy, because it is a place of sorrow. When joy has come, the purpose of the world has gone. The world will end in peace, because it is a place of war. When peace has come, what is the purpose of the world? The world will end in laughter, because it is a place of tears. Where there is laughter, who can longer weep? And only complete forgiveness brings all this to bless the world. In blessing it departs, for it will not end as it began. To turn hell into Heaven is the function of God’s teachers, for what they teach are lessons in which Heaven is reflected. And now sit down in true humility, and realize that all God would have you do you can do. Do not be arrogant and say you cannot learn His Own curriculum. His Word says otherwise. His Will be done. It cannot be otherwise. And be you thankful it is so.
It is our job to turn hell into Heaven. The world as we know it will end and will be replaced by a paradise where there is no sorrow, no war, no sadness at all. Jesus is being pretty firm with us here when he ends this section by basically telling us to sit down and think about what he is saying to us. We have a job to do and it is sheer arrogance on our part to say that we can’t do it. True humility is to accept our function as God has given it to us recognizing that He cannot be wrong about us or about the curriculum he has given us.
How do we accomplish our function? Through forgiveness. We forgive our beliefs that are not in alignment with this curriculum and all that is not truth will simply cease to exist. This is not hard. All we are doing is changing our minds about what we have decided to believe. We change our minds all the time. If it is hard to do, then it is because we don’t want to.
I have been thinking about what stands in my way of forgiveness. What is it that makes this change feel hard? One thing is that I think I am guilty. This makes me unworthy of happiness. Guilt also makes me think I am unworthy of God and of my true Self. So guilt is something that I must forgive. It is like a wall standing between me and Heaven. My modus operandi in the past has been to project the guilt onto someone else, but since I am now very aware that there is no one else, that will no longer work. I must forgive guilt where ever it appears.
The second block to my awareness of love’s presence is fear. Because I have all that guilt, I am afraid of God. I am afraid of giving up my self. Gary Renard used to do a guided meditation which ended with us disappearing into God, and that scared me to death. I found teachings that allowed me to believe that I didn’t really disappear, that my self retained its individualism even though it was part of something bigger, because I just couldn’t face Myron ceasing to exist.
I don’t know what it will be like to let go of self, but I do recognize there is still some fear of that happening. The fear is not as great as it used to be, but it is not completely gone. My mind is still split, one part believing in and protecting the individual self, and the other part knowing that there is no individual. I dwell more often now in the truth, but I hold onto the individual, just in case.
It’s like my closet. I lost weight and now wear a smaller size. I got rid of most of the older, larger clothes, but I held onto some of them, just in case. I am not fully committed to being a smaller size, so I am keeping my options open. This seems to be where I am with salvation. I’m mostly convinced that I want to return to God, but I’m holding onto my self, just in case. Keeping my options open just in case I need to scurry back into self.
Well, this won’t work. I know too much. I see too much. I can no longer hide my intentions from myself. It is time to make a full commitment. It is time to sit down and look at this. God has given me a curriculum. He has given me a function and a purpose. He has given me a way Home. It is simple and easy to do. All I have to do is put one foot in front of the other, and I have a dedicated Guide to keep my steps on the path.
When I am through writing this, I am going to my closet and tossing all the clothes that don’t fit. Holy Spirit, help me to be aware of every opportunity to practice forgiveness, and help me to see when my commitment flags so that I can renew it and strengthen it with your help.
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