6-19-12
29. AS FOR THE REST…
1 This manual is not intended to answer all questions that both teacher and pupil may raise. In fact, it covers only a few of the more obvious ones, in terms of a brief summary of some of the major concepts in the text and workbook. It is not a substitute for either, but merely a supplement. While it is called a manual for teachers, it must be remembered that only time divides teacher and pupil, so that the difference is temporary by definition. In some cases, it may be helpful for the pupil to read the manual first. Others might do better to begin with the workbook. Still others may need to start at the more abstract level of the text.
When students new to the Course come to me, they inevitably ask where to start. Back in the old days, when I thought I knew something, (not really that long ago, truth be told) I would tell them. What I told them, of course, was what I was guided to do, and what has my guidance to do with them? We each have the Holy Spirit within us to be our guide and no one needs someone else to do that. We each have a specific path to follow and only the Holy Spirit knows what that is.
When I started the Course, luckily, I didn’t have anyone to advice me. I picked up the book and started at the beginning like any good little Virgo would. And that was absolutely perfect for me. I was completely enthralled, and couldn’t have put it down if I wanted to, at least until I got to the part where I didn’t understand anything I was reading, but that was ok, too. At this point there was nowhere to go but to the lessons, and that was perfect, too.
I had a lot more trouble with the lessons. I redid the first two sections over and over again because I would come to my line of resistance. I didn’t see it like that at the time. The ego said I was lazy, I didn’t want it bad enough, I shouldn’t be doing it, I couldn’t do it, I should be ashamed. I believed it all, and would put the book down in guilt and fear, but I could not undo what I already knew, and so would pick it up again. I eventually pushed that line of resistance back further and further, but still did not do the lessons all the way through for a very long time.
It wasn’t until I did get through the lessons that everything began to change and so I highly recommend doing them, but I no longer presume the Holy Spirit’s role and tell anyone how or when. I also no longer look back on my journey and think that there was anything wrong about the way I did it, or even my timing. It was obviously perfect for me, and while I can see from the perspective of time the how and why of a lot of it, that doesn’t matter either. However, I have noticed that it can be helpful to others who are faltering to share my experience of stumbling through it, not to mention it keeps me humble. ~smile~
What helped me to finally get through the lessons was finding Pathways of Light. They had a forum at the time that allowed the opportunity to do the lessons with others and to share our experience. I was so happy to have someone to share this journey that I never wanted to get behind, so I was motivated to stay on course. Another thing I learned through Pathways was that anyone can communicate with the Holy Spirit. So I asked the Holy Spirit to help me go through the lessons again with His help, and I began to journal as I went. Again, everything changed.
Listening to the Holy Spirit, learning to trust that Voice, has helped me to reach the point where I can say with certainty and humility that I am a teacher of God. I am an imperfect teacher, but then, aren’t we all. I also understand and completely accept that this does not make me special. We are all teachers, and eventually we all become teachers of God. It is just a matter of time, and time doesn’t really exist. One person seems to be there while another seems to still be in resistance, and the important word in this sentence is “seems.” The difference is temporary, and as unreal as time itself.
6-20-12
2 Which is for which? Who would profit more from prayers alone? Who needs but a smile, being as yet unready for more? No one should attempt to answer these questions alone. Surely no teacher of God has come this far without realizing that. The curriculum is highly individualized, and all aspects are under the Holy Spirit’s particular care and guidance. Ask and He will answer. The responsibility is His, and He alone is fit to assume it. To do so is His function. To refer the questions to Him is yours. Would you want to be responsible for decisions about which you understand so little. Be glad you have a Teacher Who cannot make a mistake. His answers are always right. Would you say that of yours?
Jesus could not be any clearer. It is not my job to decide what to say or do for anyone. I don’t have any way of knowing what a person needs. My responsibility is to ask the Holy Spirit what I am to do, what I am to say. It is His responsibility to give me direction. From time to time I think I know the answer on my own, or more likely, I am attached to an answer and want it to be right. This never works out.
I always regret taking this responsibility. The ego is never interested in setting its own separate interests aside. It doesn’t believe in unity of purpose because it doesn’t believe in unity. Its only goal is separation so it will always see separate interests, and so its answer will not be foster oneness, but separation. But, oh, how it argues for its answer, insisting that, this time, the answer is obvious. It especially hates silence, so when I am not directed to respond, the ego is very uncomfortable and brings out its most clever responses to tempt me.
It is not hard to get an answer from the Holy Spirit because He wants you to have it. I thought for the longest time that I couldn’t find the key to that secret. I accepted that He was answering me, but I couldn’t figure out how to hear Him. I knew it was possible because I knew so many people with Pathways of Light that heard the Voice all the time and took it for granted everyone could hear it.
It was very frustrating and upsetting to me. The ego insisted that I wasn’t worthy and at the same time, that I was guilty for not being able to hear the Voice for God. But I trusted the Voice was there and, in spite of my doubts and fears, I kept trying.
The Holy Spirit brought me exactly what I needed as I became willing to accept it. The Holy Spirit will meet us exactly where we are, wherever that might be. One morning as I tried once again to become meditative and to hear that small quiet Voice in my mind, and once again heard nothing, I just sat and cried and cried. I felt desolate and alone and so afraid that I alone would never know God’s Will for me.
I had a lovely crystal pendulum. I didn’t know much about pendulums, but I had seen someone do remarkable things with one so I had been I had been playing with it from time to time, and found it responsive. When I finally stopped crying, I reached for the pendulum. I asked a question or two, then without thinking about it, I said, “God, I love You.” The pendulum began to swing in a large emphatic circle. I knew in my heart that it was God saying He loved me, too. I cried again, more than ever, but in happiness. I could hear the Holy Spirit, and God did love me!
I tried using the pendulum again for that purpose but it didn’t work for me. The Holy Spirit didn’t want our communication to be limited in that way. So I asked for more help and that very day I got a call from a man who said his name was DavidPaul Doyle and that he and his wife, Candace, had written a book, The Journey That Never Was, about hearing the Holy Spirit. He asked if I would like to have a copy.
Their book was instrumental in helping me to gain confidence in myself and their matter of fact acceptance of that Voice and their trust that everyone could easily hear it, helped bolster my confidence as well. I think I identified with DavidPaul because, like me, he struggled with it, but he did succeed and so I took that to be a message from Holy Spirit to take heart, that it would be ok.
I found that Voice in me through writing. I would ask questions and then begin to write and the answers I got did not come from anything I knew or would have said. Writing was a very helpful tool for me because my very active ego thinking mind would not be still long enough for me to get an answer if I just sat there waiting for it. It would wander off in the middle of a thought. Writing helped me to hold my focus. The more I did this the better I became at listening, and at being able to differentiate between the ego and Holy Spirit.
I still use this method when I am having trouble accepting an answer and want to get the ego out of the way. I still ask Holy Spirit to guide my words when I do my writing for my posts and when I write a book. But now I also ask for His guidance when speaking to others, and often during the day for whatever decisions I make, even the little ones that seem unimportant.
Regina said one time that there are only two voices so I am always either asking the ego or Holy Spirit. That makes perfect sense and I want to get into the habit of calling on only that One real Voice. I want to learn to step aside from the ego and allow my entire life to be lived by God, not by ego.
Looking back on the whole process I see that I don’t have to learn to hear His Voice, I just need to want that Voice more than I want to hear the ego. I must trust that His Voice wants to be heard and so it is possible. Then it’s just a matter of practice as I become more proficient at doing so.
It got easier as I let go of the idea I had to be careful or I would listen to the wrong voice, that I would make a mistake, that I would become confused. I just ask for guidance and expect it. If I get it wrong sometimes, that’s ok. I got it wrong most of my life prior to this so that’s nothing new. ~smile~ I have built more perfect trust as I practiced and now I simply expect His answer and so I receive it.
© Copyright 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
You may freely share copies of this with your friends, provided this notice is included.
Has this page been helpful to you?
Your contribution in support of this site is greatly appreciated. To make a tax deductible contribution or become a member online, go to http://www.pathwaysoflight.org/polshop/home.php?cat=254.
Or send a check or money order to Pathways of Light, 6 Oak Court, Ormond Beach, FL 32174-2623 (USD only, please) Thank you for your support.