6-21-12
3 There is another advantage,-and a very important one,-in referring decisions to the Holy Spirit with increasing frequency. Perhaps you have not thought of this aspect, but its centrality is obvious. To follow the Holy Spirit’s guidance is to let yourself be absolved of guilt. It is the essence of the Atonement. It is the core of the curriculum. The imagined usurping of functions not your own is the basis of fear. The whole world you see reflects the illusion that you have done so, making fear inevitable. To return the function to the One to Whom it belongs is thus the escape from fear. And it is this that lets the memory of love return to you. Do not, then, think that following the Holy Spirit’s guidance is necessary merely because of your own inadequacies. It is the way out of hell for you.
This is a very important paragraph for me. I had not thought of following Holy Spirit as a way to avoid fear. I know that A Course in Miracles is a sure and certain path out of fear, and I have accepted that I want to let go of the idea of making decisions on my own and making plans. I have even realized that I feel much more peaceful and happy when I ask for guidance in all things, big and small. But I never considered why this is so.
When I make plans and make decisions on my own, I am usurping functions that are not mine, and this causes anxiety. Now that I think about it I realize that fear would be an inevitable result of doing so. When I am at work and doing what I know how to do, I feel confident and enjoy my job. Sometimes I get stuck in a situation that is unfamiliar to me and there is no one to consult. This is very uncomfortable and I feel anxious and concerned that I made a mistake. This is natural and entirely expected. If I don’t know enough about the problem, how can I be confident in my answer to it?
If there is anything I have come to fully accept as I have studied A Course in Miracles, it is that I don’t know very much. I am in a self-imposed state of amnesia. I don’t remember being created. I don’t remember my Creator. I don’t remember anything that happened before I started this life, nor do I remember any other life I am living. I don’t even remember the purpose of this life, the whys of all the relationships and circumstances that are my lessons. It seems that with the passing of time I can figure some of it out, but I don’t really know.
Why on earth would I think that I could know enough to make decisions on my own? What is there in my memory that would make this a good idea? My experience has been that as I let go of what I think should happen, and accept that there is One Who is planning this life and that He wants only my good, my life becomes more peaceful. I am more relaxed and happier. Things go so much more smoothly, and without much effort on my part.
The more often I step back and let Him lead the way, the easier this becomes. I am learning to recognize His Voice above the chatter of the ego mind. I am no longer reluctant (or seldom am reluctant) to follow His guidance, even when I absolutely do not understand it or want to go in that direction. He has taught me to trust Him.
Jesus says that as I allow myself to be led, I let go of fear and that allows the memory of love to return. This too is my experience. I have been given a taste of this love and it is worth all of my sad little treasures. I will gladly give up the right to decide what I will do now, where I will go, how I will live. All of that is meaningless next to that memory of love. I will gladly give up deciding what should be said and to whom.
Holy Spirit, please, decide for me, today and every day. Thank you.
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