6-5-12
4 Do not despair, then, because of limitations. It is your function to escape from them, but not to be without them. If you would be heard by those who suffer, you must speak their language. If you would be a savior, you must understand what needs to be escaped. Salvation is not theoretical. Behold the problem, ask for the answer, and then accept it when it comes. Nor will its coming be long delayed. All the help you can accept will be provided, and not one need you have will not be met. Let us not, then, be too concerned with goals for which you are not ready. God takes you where you are and welcomes you. What more could you desire, when this is all you need?
This paragraph is very encouraging. Letting go of guilt is the job I have to do here, and even though the entire Course teaches me I have nothing to be guilty for, I have always felt guilty when I found the dark places in my mind, and felt guiltier still when I seemed unwilling to immediately let them go. I didn’t see as clearly as I do now, but I felt guilty for my existence here. But I kept doing the work and I now I have let go of so much guilt, and it feels wonderful.
The way I did it is exactly as he states here. I behold the problem, ask for the answer and then accept it when it comes. It really is that simple. I always receive as much answer as I am ready for and that readiness is not determined by me, but by the Holy Spirit within me, for that is part of His function. His function is to determine the specifics of my path Home and to guide me there, and to comfort me along the way. He never fails in his job.
For so long I was discontented no matter how well I was doing because it never felt like enough. I always wanted to be in the next place. Now I feel so much happier as I simply enjoy where I am and realize that I am not in charge of this journey. When there is something for me to do I will be told.
Yesterday something happened and I became angry about it. I haven’t been angry in a really long time and it is a miserable condition to find myself in. I observed the anger and asked that it be transformed. Then I picked it back up. I did this several times. I noticed that the ego wanted to make stories and to solve the problem. I mean it really, really wanted to do this. But I know the folly of going there, so I continued turning it over.
I felt panic when it didn’t seem to be working but then I remembered Regina’s very good advice to just rest in God and let the storm pass, because that’s what storms do. I did that and I felt calm and certain. The ego tried to engage me again but I had lost interest. Then I heard the Holy Spirit tell me that the person I was angry with was innocent. Of course she is, and thinking she was guilty was the reason I felt so uncomfortable. When I thought she was guilty, I automatically felt guilty, because I will always receive what I give.
It all melted away like butter on the stove. “Thank you, Holy Spirit! Thank you for helping me see the cause of my pain and thank you for healing my mind.” Later the ego made a last run at me. I saw the thoughts and was delighted to realize they held no appeal and quickly went away.
Looking back on that situation and others lately, I feel like I am cleaning up all that is left of a wild and crazy party. A few empty bottles under a chair, a party hat behind the couch, some confetti I missed on the first run-through. I’m happy to do this and happy that I feel no concern that there is still this bit of work to do.
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