10-12-12
44 The miracle is an expression of an inner awareness of Christ and acceptance of His Atonement.
I used to be very confused about what this meant. I knew that Christ was my true identity, but mostly that was a learned response. I was not actually aware of it. I didn’t feel like Christ. And certainly, if I saw accepting his Atonement as having undone the ego, I didn’t qualify for that either. And yet, sometimes, and more and more often, I experienced the miracle of a healed mind, and slowly and then more frequently the effects of a healed mind.
So I gathered from this that when I was aware of Christ within and when I accepted His Atonement, I experienced miracles. Over a period of time, I began to realize that although I would slide back into forgetfulness, the miracle was not lost. Once my mind was healed it stayed healed. I never lost anything. It only seemed I had lost it because my attention was sidetracked from the truth to the ego. If I lost what I had gained each time, I would never wake up.
Jesus, what do you want me to know about this principle?
There is no moment when Christ is not your Self. There are only moments when you choose to be unaware of your Self. Don’t be concerned about this. It is unimportant, and changes nothing. Your practice is enlighting your mind and it will unfold perfectly. Allow yourself to be in each moment, and to feel what comes up to be felt. Trust the process. Trust Me.
The ego mind tries to reassert itself but this can never happen. You do not walk backwards on this path. What is happening is that unhealed thoughts are coming to your awareness and sometimes you experience moments of confusion. The ego tendency to guilt and fear arise and you momentarily turn toward that.
Look at this with Me when it happens so that I can teach you it is meaningless. Fear is a response you taught yourself; in God’s Kingdom it does not exist, so it does not exist. This is what you will learn as you continue to bring your thoughts to me for purification.
Jesus, I notice that even when I am in this uncomfortable state of confusion I don’t believe in it. Behind the confusion is the certainty that it is not real and it will pass, that You will heal this, too. But I still have all the feelings of being lost, of being afraid or angry or whatever the situation brings up.
Yes, this is what happens when you believe the fear thoughts. Just as the miracle is an expression of an inner awareness of Christ and the acceptance of His Atonement, fear is an expression of identifying with ego and accepting its thought system of separation. You feel battered by these expressions of fear; anger, anxiety, frustration and all the others.
You feel this way because you have told yourself that you should not feel them, and yet they are inevitable when you experience yourself as separate. Your upset is the result of believing you have sinned. You have not, but because you believe you have and because you are afraid of seeing yourself this way, the ego mind creates a fog of confusion and you feel like you don’t know what is happening.
The way to break this cycle is to realize that anything you feel is acceptable. You cannot be guilty because you were not created guilty. You cannot be guilty any more than God could be guilty because you are His extension. Feel whatever you feel, and without guilt confusing the issue, you will quickly recognize it for what it is and move through it. You already have learned to laugh at your false beliefs once you remember your self. I am only telling you how to do it faster and with less discomfort.
Yes, I can see what you mean, Jesus. I love you and appreciate you so much. I love my life now that I understand what it is for. I invite your help the next time I do this.
What you said makes perfect sense. It is not the negative emotions and the false beliefs that make me suffer, but rather the belief they should not be happening and the belief that having them means I am a sinner. I didn’t realize that this was the belief I was holding. I am happy to have that belief healed for me and for all of us.
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