12-5-12
3 The idea of orders of need, which follows from the original error that one can be separated from God, requires correction at its own level before the error of perceiving levels at all can be corrected. You cannot behave effectively while you function on different levels. However, while you do, correction must be introduced vertically from the bottom up. This is because you think you live in space, where concepts such as “up” and “down” are meaningful. Ultimately, space is as meaningless as time. Both are merely beliefs.
I get that space and time do not exist. We made this up for the purpose of creating an experience of separation. If we were to have that experience of being separate we needed certain things to be in place. We needed bodies so that one could appear as many. We needed space so that these bodies could appear separate from each other, so that each one could be in a “here” that is different than the other one. We needed time so that we could experience occurrences as if they did not happen all at once.
Levels are not as clear to me. I can think of myself as Myron being one level, and maybe myself as the one who is still living when the body of Myron is gone, and will choose another body/personality. There is the level of the observer, the one who is watching the life of Myron and the one who is writing the script and directing it. The one who thinks she is living the story, the one watching the story being lived, the one who is directing the story. And the One. And maybe that is not at all what is meant. I don’t really know. But I understand that in reality there are no levels. Obviously that is not my experience.
It’s ok that I am having this experience of separation. It’s the experience that was desired and there is nothing wrong with that. I wanted time and space and bodies. I wanted levels of experience. I did that, and now I want reality again. It seems I have to back out of this slowly, a step at a time. I have to start from the place I find myself, where I believe I am.
Orders of need come first. I mostly know that there is no order of needs. All needs are symbolic of one need. On some level (there is that word again) I know this is true, but it seems I need practice with this. When my son was in pain I felt very strongly that I needed him to be well. I was wrapped up in that need so completely that, for awhile, all other needs disappeared for me.
That need was so big that it eclipsed the universe. Only because of my deepest desire, the desire to awaken, did I realize this was an error. My desire to awaken led me to ask for clarity and I was able to allow my mind to be corrected. I then remembered that there is only one need and in the solution are all needs met. I did see that I still believe in order of needs, but I also saw that I am ready to let that illusion go.
So here I am at the bottom, working my way up. From this place it seems like an endless job requiring more time than I can imagine. If I believed in time this would be discouraging. But I have seen that, from time to time, as I plug away at this work, I experience a shift which changes everything. This I think of as time being snipped out of the film and left on the cutting room floor. This shift moves me further along than I could account for through my experience.
One day I will shift into a completely different awareness. It will not be anything Myron did, and in fact, going by what others have experienced, I will leave the idea of Myron behind while still inhabiting the space and life that is her script. I look forward to that, but cannot even imagine what might come next. Isn’t it exciting!
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