2-13-13
(4) The miracle is always a denial of this error and an affirmation of the truth. Only right-mindedness can correct in a way that has any real effect. Pragmatically, what has no real effect has no real existence. Its effect, then, is emptiness. Being without substantial content, it lends itself to projection.
With my new house being half unpacked and work being done in it all around me, I feel very disorganized. I don’t know where anything is and I will put something down and not be able to remember where I put it because there is not yet a place for everything. For instance, when I received the invitation for the Mardi Gras Ball I put it someplace but then later couldn’t remember where. Normally, I would know exactly where it was, but with everything in disarray there was just no telling where I put it. I had to look all over the place until I found it.
Not only is my home life out of order and so harder to keep up with, but work has changed. I recently started sharing duties with another person and that is good, but now I have to get used to doing things differently. After working at the same job, with the same duties for over 16 years, suddenly I have to figure out a new way to do things. I feel ungrounded and vaguely anxious because I am concerned that things are not getting done in a timely manner.
I began to notice that the mind was obsessing with things like where I put something and would I be able to find it, and did I see a particular customer and was it time to return. Worry thoughts would go round and round in my mind and this is not peaceful. I asked for help with the mind chatter and the worry, and the thought I was given is that I can allow Spirit to be in charge.
I can ask that my day be guided by Spirit. I felt relaxed when I thought of this because I have done this often enough that I know it works and that it is, all around, a better choice. It is a good practice to ask Spirit for guidance rather than allowing ego to run the show. I am always listening to one voice or another. Why deliberately choose to listen to ego when I could so easily choose Spirit?
This is what I am doing now. I made my schedule for work Monday, asking for guidance. I am following that general plan, but leaving my mind open for guidance during the day. When worry thoughts about work come into my mind, it is easier to let them go because I know that I am not making plans on my own.
When I realized Tuesday morning that I didn’t know where some things were that I needed to pack to go out of town, I relaxed and asked for help. What I didn’t find I decided I didn’t need, or I could use something else instead. I remembered that what happens, finding what I need, leaving on time, organizing my work day, all of this is just what I do. It is not my purpose.
Remembering not to make plans on my own, letting go of the obsessive mind chatter, extending love wherever I go, stepping back and putting Spirit in charge… this is my purpose. Often during the day I ask, “What would you have me do now?” This is so much more effective and peaceful that making the decisions on my own and worrying that I am forgetting something. And this is how I go from wrong-minded to right-minded thinking, from stress to peace. This is how I accept the Atonement for myself. I allow my thinking to be corrected and the resultant peace is a miracle.
Before I asked for help and when I was anxious and worried about things, my mind was clouded. Jesus says that only right-minded thinking actually corrects. When I was trying to fix the world in the world, that is when I tried to fix my anxiety through obsessively worrying and organizing things differently, nothing was actually being fixed.
I was temporarily making a difference but the real error went untouched and so the anxiety returned. The effects of my efforts were not real and so nothing was actually done. I was busy so it looked like something was happening, but not really. Jesus says that without substantial content, the situation lends itself to projection. I had never noticed this before, but now, looking back on it, I see how true that is.
I notice that the anxiety in my mind was projected as a stiff neck and a headache. When my efforts to relieve the anxiety with more ineffective rearranging of the situation didn’t really work, I began to project blame. I felt like the contractor was not working fast enough and that I was not getting the support at work I needed.
To go from worry, anxiety, headaches and being angry and resentful with the people around me, to being peaceful and happy with only a change of mind, is absolutely a miracle. I didn’t affect the change, I only desired it. I wanted peace and I wanted to follow Holy Spirit more than I wanted to be in charge. I wanted to remember my purpose. Because this is what I truly wanted, my mind was healed and I returned to right-minded thinking which facilitates the miracle.
In other words, I didn’t make myself stop my wrong-minded thinking; I just wanted to stop and this desire invited the Holy Spirit into my mind to undo what I had done. I am always amazed that when I am caught up in wrong-minded thinking everything seems so complicated and out of control. Then when I change my mind it is so simple and effortless. It all just turns on a dime. From crazy to sane, just like that. ~smile~
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