18 You can do much on behalf of your own healing and that of others if, in a situation calling for help, you think of it this way:
I am here only to be truly helpful.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me.
I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me.
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.
I am here only to be truly helpful. When is this true? When I teach, when I counsel, when I do a wedding or funeral, when I facilitate a student through their ministerial courses, this is true. I don’t want to be right, or good, or memorable; I just want to be truly helpful. I will earn money doing most of these things, but that is not why I am there. I am there to be truly helpful. I am not there to save anyone, only to be truly helpful.
These are the times when I am most aware that I am here only to be truly helpful, but these are not the only times. Whenever I am with a brother or thinking of a brother, I am there only to be truly helpful. When my brother said his wife was not doing well, I could think fearful thoughts, or I could be truly helpful and remember who she is and that she is an eternal being with nothing to fear.
When others at work are gossiping and I feel myself drawn in to the conversion, I can join them or I can be truly helpful and walk away, literally or mentally. When I notice I have judged them, I can be truly helpful and accept the Atonement for myself. When someone attacks me, I can let go of the desire to defend and be truly helpful as I forgive the belief that I can be attacked.
When I am asked for help or advice I can ask for help and advice from Spirit before I answer, rather than believing I know the way to help. In this way I am sure to be truly helpful. It seems that I am here to be truly helpful in every circumstance, formal or casual, when I am to say something or when I am to simply hold the truth in my mind. I am to be truly helpful as I speak words given to me or when I am to forgive my projections onto someone. This is a prayer for all occasions.
I am here to represent Him Who sent me. When I think about this, I feel like every encounter is a holy one. I am here to represent God. When the young woman quickly slipped into the parking place I was clearly planning to take, I was there to represent Him who sent me. Could it be that I was not there by chance, but had been sent?
Yes, that is exactly what is meant here. I was sent here to this parking lot at this time to encounter this woman. I was sent to notice my reaction and to forgive my belief in attack. I was sent to bless her and love her. I was sent to represent Him Who sent me. How differently I see everything when I remember this. How holy is each moment of my life.
And should I feel overwhelmed by my responsibility, or think that I cannot fill this role, I am reassured as I say the next line of this prayer. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me. I know this is true because I have experienced it over and over again. It was true even before I understood that any of this was happening.
Before I studied A Course in Miracles or had any concept of being a messenger for God, I experienced this. I remember being faced with a need for the right words and wanting to be helpful and when I opened my mouth I was astounded to hear those words come from me. I wondered, even then, how that happened. Where did the right words come from? Just a desire to be helpful was all the invitation the Holy Spirit needed. Even then, when I knew so little, I knew enough to be grateful and not proud. I knew it didn’t come from my self.
I am content to be wherever He wishes, knowing He goes there with me. I have been in denial about this one, and I have been accepting of it. Accepting is better. How do I know that I am in the right place at the right time? I know because here I am. Now, I choose, in full confidence, to be truly helpful. I am confident because I know there are no mistakes and no coincidences. I am confident because I am not alone; I know that He goes there with me.
I am practicing remembering this now. When I think I should not be exactly where I am, when I think it would be so much better to be someplace else, I remember that I am content to be wherever He wishes. Sometimes I still have times when I think I should not be working at my job, when I think my time would be better used if I spent it teaching and writing.
This can’t be true, though, because if it were, then that is where He would have me. I am learning that I do not know where I am needed or what I should be doing. I am learning to accept that He does know and that though I know my purpose, I don’t always understand what it will look like in form, but He does. I am learning to be willing to trust the Holy Spirit to do His job without my input on the subject.
I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal. This morning as I write this, I am given an opportunity to experience it in real time. My grandson came into my room in something of a panic. He is sick to his stomach and throwing up and he has a test this morning. He wants something to stop the nausea. I find him some nausea medicine and tell him I hope this passes quickly. I get him some medicine because that is what he thinks he needs from me. I am meeting him where he is. I tell him I hope it passes quickly because I want him to believe in this idea. I want to plant the idea that it could pass quickly.
I notice my stomach rolls in sympathy. Though it has not happened to me in a long time, I remember how it feels and I have the thought that maybe he has the flu and maybe I will catch it. I am no longer helpful so I ask Jesus to help me remember the truth. My grandson’s body is not creative. It did not create a stomach upset of any kind. The body is an illusion, a thought form that is projected from the mind. The sickness is a thought projected onto the body. I cannot catch a thought unless I want to.
Thanks, Jesus. Those wrong-minded thoughts are still there right below the surface of the true thoughts I am learning from you. They pop up and I get a chance to decide if I want to choose them, or choose the thoughts I think with God. I appreciate the help in making the choice that is truly helpful.
I know that I am exactly where I am needed. I know that I am here only to be truly helpful, and that I am not alone and will be guided as to what to say and do. I know that I am not here to join Julian in believing in pain and suffering. I know that I am not here to witness the ego’s projection of pain, but rather I am to witness the truth. I want to be a miracle worker this morning. I want to be a healer. I want to heal my grandson through accepting the Atonement for myself. Holy Spirit, please heal my mind.
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