5-3-13
4 The fundamental question you continually ask yourself cannot properly be directed to yourself at all. You keep asking what it is you are. This implies that the answer is not only one you know, but is also one that is up to you to supply. Yet you cannot perceive yourself correctly. You have no image to be perceived. The word “image” is always perception-related, and not a part of knowledge. Images are symbolic and stand for something else. The idea of “changing your image” recognizes the power of perception, but also implies that there is nothing stable to know.
I understand this. I often ask the question, “What am I?” but I don’t ask myself and I don’t try to figure it out. Neither do I try to change what I am, that is, I don’t try to change the image you see when you look at me and then believe anything really changed. The image of Myron, body and personality, is not who I am.
I can play with that image all my life and no matter what seems to happen, nothing has been done. What I am cannot be changed, but it can be known. I simply have to ask the question of One Who knows. So far the answer has come as opportunities to let go of all I think I know. As that falls away I think that the truth will reveal itself.
5 Knowing is not open to interpretation. You may try to “interpret” meaning, but this is always open to error because it refers to the perception of meaning. Such incongruities are the result of attempts to regard yourself as separated and unseparated at the same time. It is impossible to make so fundamental a confusion without increasing your overall confusion still further. Your mind may have become very ingenious, but as always happens when method and content are separated, it is utilized in a futile attempt to escape from an inescapable impasse. Ingenuity is totally divorced from knowledge, because knowledge does not require ingenuity. Ingenious thinking is not the truth that shall set you free, but you are free of the need to engage in it when you are willing to let it go.
I am very curious about my origins. Where did I come from? When did I come? What am I? What is God? How can I be part of God when God created me? If there is no time, then there cannot be a when I was created and what on earth does that mean? These are questions I wonder about, but I don’t try to figure them out.
Sometimes I receive some clarity about one of my questions, but it does not come from the thinking mind. I notice that when I do get some unexpected clarity, it is not like it came from the encyclopedia. It is more like a knowing that would be pretty much impossible for me to put into words.
I remember a time when I used to sit around discussing philosophy and thinking that I was very clever. I remember thinking that I had it all figured out. I don’t even care anymore. I just want to know the next step so I can do my part. I know less, but am less confused.
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