VIII. The Body as Means or End, P 3
3 It has been particularly difficult to overcome the ego’s belief in the body as an end, because it is synonymous with the belief in attack as an end. The ego has a profound investment in sickness. If you are sick, how can you object to the ego’s firm belief that you are not invulnerable? This is an appealing argument from the ego’s point of view, because it obscures the obvious attack that underlies the sickness. If you recognized this and also decided against attack, you could not give this false witness to the ego’s stand.
I have decided that sickness is a defense against God in every case. No matter what kind of sickness I am experiencing, what pain or discomfort, I know that it is the symbol of an attack thought in my mind. I still hear the ego suggest reasons for the sickness. For instance if I have a headache, the ego mind checks the barometric pressure. It thinks about what I have eaten that might have triggered the headache. It suggests that the headache is the result of stress from dealing with a difficult person.
I have learned to ignore this chatter as completely irrelevant. The headache is a projection of an attack thought. That is the cause every time. I have an attack thought and I want it away from me so I project it outward and use it to prove I am blameless because someone or something else is to blame. A pain pill might bring me temporary relief simply because the pain pill is a magical solution I decided on, but no magical solution will heal me.
I am healed as I give up attack thoughts. Attack thoughts are interesting, too. I attack someone at work because he caused me a problem. I might say something to him or I might just attack in my own thoughts but it is the same either way. I see the attack and I recognize that I am never upset for the reason I think. I ask the Holy Spirit for clarity and eventually, I am led to the belief that I am separate from God. That is the real attack thought, the one that sources all other attack thoughts.
Here is how it is working for me. I started out watching my mind for attack thoughts, and as I found one I would use a forgiveness process to undo it and to accept the Atonement in that situation. Slowly, as more and more was undone in my mind, I began to see the end game. I saw that the real problem was the belief I was separate from God and that idea began to unravel. As it did so, and continues to do so, my reality is being revealed to me. I am beginning to remember what I am and attack in any form loses its appeal as it loses its purpose.
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