I. The Acceptance of Reality, P 4
4 You have imprisoned your will beyond your own awareness, where it remains, but cannot help you. When I said that the Holy Spirit’s function is to sort out the true from the false in your mind, I meant that He has the power to look into what you have hidden and recognize the Will of God there. His recognition of this Will can make it real to you because He is in your mind, and therefore He is your reality. If, then, His perception of your mind brings its reality to you, He is helping you to remember what you are. The only source of fear in this process is what you think you will lose. Yet it is only what the Holy Spirit sees that you can possibly have.
Oh my! Do you see what Jesus is saying here? In my mind is the truth, in my mind is my true will, the Will of God, and as I am willing to accept His help, the Holy Spirit looks with me and I see it, too. Because the Holy Spirit is in my mind, I become aware of my true will which is the Will of God. The only thing standing between my awareness of the truth and the separated will of ego is the fear that knowing my self is a loss.
When I think of salvation in these terms, it all seems so simple and so accessible. I hear the Voice for God very clearly and I hear it every day so I am convinced that the Holy Spirit is in my mind. Now Jesus is telling me that all He has to do to bring me to full awareness is to look into what I have hidden and recognize the Will of God there. It feels so close and so possible when I think of this. I’ve cried three times just writing this.
So this is what has been happening in my practice! I look at the thoughts and feelings that seem to make up my life and I invite the Holy Spirit to look with me. To the degree I am willing to be known, the Holy Spirit finds God there and shows It to me. I feel like a blind woman whose sight is beginning to return. Or maybe like an insane person who is coming out of her psychosis.
I have been doing exactly what I need to be doing, and I never gave thought to the miracle that is occurring. It was just a practice, and yes, it was changing everything so it was the best practice in the world, but never did I realize the true significance of that practice. It just seemed too simple to be this important.
Now the immediate ego reaction to this is to find someone to make guilty. As the rush of discovery begins to fade, the ego mind starts asking what is wrong with me? What am I waiting for? It begins to insert doubt. It starts saying that if it was really this easy, I would already be awake. Or I must not be worthy or I would already be awake. And I’m guilty for being unworthy. I am unwilling to buy into its party line, so it agrees that this can be done and someday if I keep at it, I will wake up. Same old, same old.
I am so on fire with this new understanding that I am not even interested enough to listen to the ego this morning! Look into my mind, Holy Spirit, look with me at the ego beliefs there. Show me the Will of God that is also my will. What have I got to lose? Life as I know it? That is a loss I am willing to incur, if it is a loss at all.
Here are the objections my ego self has. I am afraid I will give up reading my novels, and that I will never find out what happens next on Blue Bloods. I will never again have a normal relationship with my kids because there will be no specialness in it. They won’t feel loved by me. What else is the little self afraid of, Holy Spirit?
What if my whole life changes and I feel lost and I don’t know my place in the world? I don’t know what to expect and I am afraid when I don’t know and don’t understand and have no control. My head begins to hurt as I think about this. Holy Spirit, look with me at these thoughts and find God in them. I am showing you my thoughts, and I am waiting for you to show me the Will of God in me. Show me that the Will of God is my will. What am I? Show me the truth in my mind.
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