II. The Answer to Prayer P1
1 Everyone who ever tried to use prayer to ask for something has experienced what appears to be failure. This is not only true in connection with specific things that might be harmful, but also in connection with requests that are strictly in line with this course. The latter in particular might be incorrectly interpreted as “proof” that the course does not mean what it says. You must remember, however, that the course states, and repeatedly, that its purpose is the escape from fear.
What I pray for now is that my mind be healed. No matter what the seeming need, the solution is that my mind be healed of the mistaken thoughts, the beliefs that are not true. In a healed mind, I find the answer to all my challenges. Having used this approach for awhile now, I understand about fear being a block to the prayer. I have seen fear in my mind that I will lose something of value, even as I asked that it be removed. This is not a true prayer. The Holy Spirit does not answer my words, but my heart.
The solution to this quandary seems, at least in my case, is to be clear that when I don’t receive the answer I expect, it is not the Course, nor Jesus nor the Holy Spirit that has failed to answer. It is always me that has failed as a questioner. I ask the Holy Spirit to give me clarity about the situation. I ask Him what He wants me to see. I become as willing as I can to receive His answers. I ask that He remove from my mind the impediments to my acceptance.
In the end, it is always fear and guilt that block me. I am afraid that allowing more of my “personal” freedom to be eroded will be a loss. What I have is very limited and often painful, but it is something I know, and while I don’t actually trust it, sometimes I am reluctant to chance anything else. It is hard for me to envision a future in which I am aware of myself as Love, a future that is perfectly joyful and completely safe. And yet, that future is here now, waiting for my acceptance.
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