II. The Difference Between Imprisonment and Freedom P6
6 The Holy Spirit’s teaching takes only one direction and has only one goal. His direction is freedom and His goal is God. Yet He cannot conceive of God without you, because it is not God’s Will to be without you. When you have learned that your will is God’s, you could no more will to be without Him than He could will to be without you. This is freedom and this is joy. Deny yourself this and you are denying God His Kingdom, because He created you for this.
Up until now I could not read this paragraph without feeling a twinge of fear and then guilt for the fear. I was afraid of the idea of surrendering to God. There was too much fear and guilt in my mind to be comfortable with the idea of God and I being inseparable. It was just a twinge because I felt fearful that I didn’t want it and so I quickly denied it even in my own mind.
Now I am aware of a twinge of fear but I know it is not me that feels this fear. It is the ego, the part of the mind that believes in separation. I still identify with that part of the mind a bit, but not so much as before. I can now detach myself from it to some degree, and so while I am aware of the ego thoughts and beliefs, for the most part I don’t believe them.
When a separation belief does hook me, I am also aware of what is happening and choose to allow my mind to be corrected, usually pretty quickly. Soon, I think, I will no longer have any use or desire for ego thinking and it won’t happen anymore. Won’t that be nifty! What will it feel like to know the freedom of being one with God? No more insanity. No more fear or guilt. I will continue to master my decision to choose God rather than ego as my true identity.
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