It seems that there are many paths that I can take in my life. But in truth there is only one. All roads lead to God. I look back over my life and some of the things I have experienced argue against this idea. It certainly doesn?t look like I have always been on the right path. It doesn?t seem that I have always been on the path to God. But then, when I reconsider, I see that I have experienced in life exactly what I need to be where I am now. I also see that, yes, all roads do lead to God, because God is all there is.
I?ve done a lot of crazy things in my life. During those times, it certainly didn?t seem that I was on a path to God. I didn?t sleep through the sixties, and I lived the seventies as if they were the sixties, too. I burned my bra, I practiced free love with enthusiasm, I inhaled! I made mistakes that felt really big. I hurt myself and I hurt other people. I spent some time being very angry at God. I openly and frankly cursed Him. And each thing I did brought me a step closer to my Father, because there is no place else to go.
At some point in the eighties, I made up with God. How amused the Universe must have been to hear that I was returning to where I had never left. Now I sat my foot more deliberately on the path home. I began to realize that I wanted the road to God, and I started to really put some effort into it. I studied and meditated. I opened my mind to seeing things differently. I worried that I would choose the wrong path. The Holy Spirit tried to show me that all the paths, no matter how different or odd one might seem, wound up right back at the same place.
I wasn?t very consistent in my spiritual efforts. I would be working really hard, and then suddenly I would wake up to the fact that I was floating aimlessly through life again. I would feel guilty for losing my way, for veering off path again. As if I could. As if there was some other path.
I spent the nineties slipping on and off my intended spiritual path. I would do what I thought God wanted me to do and I would feel good about myself. Then I would mess up and I would feel guilty. I would feel like a failure. I would feel like I had made a promise to God and then failed to keep it. God just kept right on loving me, carrying me. When I felt able I would get back on my feet and try again. Why did I think that I needed to walk my path on my own? Why did I think it would be better if God did not carry me?
With the new millennium I came near to celebrating another decade in this life. It also brought a new determination to walk a straighter path. I finally realized that I probably was not going to remain in this life forever. I felt a driving force moving me steadily toward God. I asked for whatever it would take to keep me going-to get me to my destination. I expressed a willingness to do whatever it took. God answered my prayers, and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper in my heart in a way I never had before.
I was led to Pathways of Light, and they provided a structured program that would help me reach my hearts desire. I was shown how to use A Course in Miracles to move me forward at a faster, surer pace. I was led each step of the way. I was assured that I need only focus on my true purpose and everything else would be taken care of. Did that mean that I would never have any problems? No, but it did mean that whatever problems came up in my life, I would have the option of taking them to the Holy Spirit to be solved. If that is what I chose to do, then the problems themselves would move me another step down the path.
My path brought me to the Church of the Brethren. I am so grateful for this opportunity to share with, and learn from, such a terrific bunch of people. I can hardly believe my good fortune to find a church so inclusive, so loving, and so open minded. But then, it is not really good fortune; it is another step planned for me by the Holy Spirit. I set my intention to follow His lead, and He, in turn, led me to exactly the place where I should be.
I would like to share with you some of the things that I have learned while on this path. I have learned that I have never done anything wrong. I have taken a few side roads, but they all led back to the path. They slowed me down, but that?s OK because I learned many lessons while on them. I spent some time in regrets and guilt, and that slowed me down, too, but what I learned was that guilt and regrets are a waste of time. What I have done or failed to do is irrelevant to God. He knows His creations and He knows that my actions cannot change what He created. I am just as God created me. Still.
I have learned that there are only two voices; the voice of the ego, and the voice of the Holy Spirit. I can choose the voice I want to hear. It is always my choice which I listen to. One will lead to chaos and one will lead to peace. I love the simplicity. I can ask at any time, ?Who am I listening to?? and the answer is always only one of two voices. The answer is very clear and the choice to listen to the Voice for God is always possible.
I have learned that peace is my one goal. Peace is all I want in life. I have tried lots of other things and none of them have brought me happiness. I don?t remember where I read it, but something that has always impressed me as true is that intelligence is the measure of your ability to make yourself happy. If that is so, my intelligence quotient has risen over the years.
If I have to choose between being right or being happy, happy is going to win out every time. That is another place in my life that has become simpler. I look at my choices and ask which one will bring peace into my life, and that is the one I choose.
I?ve learned that everyone, without exception, is always giving love, or asking for love. There?s that simplicity again. If my boss speaks to me in anger, I know that he is not expressing love, so he must be asking for love. My choice is to return the attack, or choose a loving response. Which will bring peace into my life? So simple.
I?ve learned that when Jesus told me not to judge, he wasn?t joking. He really knew what he was talking about. He was very aware that there was no way I could know everything there was to know about each person involved, past, present and future. Without that information to work with, how could I make any kind of informed judgment? It was amazing to me how much smoother my life?s path became when I stopped trying to do what I am clearly not qualified to do. When I step back into that role of judge, it is exactly like stepping onto a rocky path, and I stumble.
While I could see that it was a mistake to judge the people in my life, it took a little longer to apply the non-judgment rule to everything else in my life. I just didn?t see that at first. Then I began to apply the same criteria to events. I don?t know what this event means in the long run.
At one time, I thought that I absolutely could not live if I didn?t have a certain man in my life. I judged that he was necessary to my happiness and that having him was a good thing. I was
wrong about that, but I couldn?t have made a clear judgment, because I couldn?t possibly know all that would happen as a result of my machinations to make this alliance possible.
I am learning to let life be what it is. I am learning not to judge what is happening, and instead, to seek peace no matter what seems to be happening. This, too, has made life simpler and happier. If my focus is peace instead of change, I am able to disengage from what is happening around me. One way I see this in action is through work. I used to think that when I got a new customer it was an exciting occasion. I judged that as good.
The thing is, if getting a new customer is good, what is losing a customer? So long as my goal is increasing my customer base, my peace is constantly at risk. Even when I get a new customer, my happiness is tainted with the fear of losing a customer. I can change my goal. I can decide that all I want is peace. I can stop judging each event as good or bad. When I am tempted to do so, I can give that judgment to the Holy Spirit. I can ask him for another way to see this. When I bring God into my life, I bring peace into my life.
I have learned that every seeming problem in my life is just a forgiveness lesson. It is an opportunity for me to practice forgiving. It doesn?t matter what seems to be happening, this is what it is for. When I hit those rocky places on my path, I ask myself what it is I need to forgive. Forgiveness is really simple; it is just a change of mind.
If I think you have done something to me, I forgive the idea that you have attacked me. Instead I allow the Holy Spirit to show me a different way to see this. I see your ?attack? as a call for love. The Holy Spirit may show me that you didn?t really do anything at all, and that I am actually seeing my fears reflected in your actions, and that is why I feel attacked. I forgive the picture I was holding of you, and this allows me to see the Christ that you are.
All paths lead to God. My choice is who I want to walk with. I can walk with the ego in fear, or I can walk with God in love. It makes no difference in reality, but in my experience it makes a world of difference. One brings me happiness and peace and the other leads me down a rocky and rough road; same road, different experience. When I walk the path of Love, God walks with me. When I walk a different path, God still walks with me, I just don?t know it.
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