After several years of vigilance in watching my thoughts its clear to me that the ego is all about grievances. The mind is filled with judgmental thoughts, and is constantly projecting blame. These grievances are designed to keep separation in place. I cannot hold a grievance without believing I am separate from that thing or circumstance or person about whom I am agrieved. The only way to be free of grievances is to want to be free of them more than I want to hold onto them.
It is as simple as that. When I want freedom more than I want to be right, the process that is perfect for me at that time will be brought to my attention. Awakening is being directed by the One Mind. All that is required of me is that I desire to awake, that I give my willingness to this. It doesn’t have to be a complete willingness; I give the willingness that I have and trust that it will strengthen as I give it.
The ego must have been very busy in my dreams last night, because I woke up with a mind filled with grievances. As I noticed the depressing state of the mind I felt discouraged. I noticed the thought that I could never do this. It is just too hard. It is impossible. I sat down and opened to today’s lesson and thought, “How can I do this lesson while I feel this way?” This was the right question. When I was saying that I cannot do this, there was no room in my mind for correction. When I asked how I could do this, I was inviting correction.
I suddenly remembered that I do not need to listen to the chatter of the ego. I do not need to believe the ego thoughts that populate the mind. I remembered that I am not the little mind where the ego makes its miserable home. I was before the mind. When the mind is gone, I am. I am that I am. I remembered my desire to take my place among the saviors of the world. I asked for words that would help us wake up. I looked straight through the ego mind into the Mind where I actually abide. That is the power of my true desire. That is the power of Correction when I give my willingness to be corrected.
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