I forget who said this, but I know it is true. The real test of intelligence is the ability to make ones self happy. No matter how smart, or rich, or beautiful you are, if you are not happy, then what have you got? Neither any of those things by themselves, or all of them together will bring happiness. It is a misconception that they will. Sure I would rather have money than not. But I don?t kid myself that money would bring happiness. Having money brings things into my life, not happiness.
So what is your plan for happiness? You have one rather you realize it or not. Your plan may be your parents plan, or some other plan you formulated without conscious thought as you grew up. The question is, is your plan working? Are you happy?
I had a plan most of my life that didn?t work. Now that I look back on it, I question my common sense in not noticing how ineffective it was. Ok, here was my plan in a nutshell. If I was unhappy, I looked around to see who or what was making me unhappy and blamed them for it. That?s it. Oh yeah, sometimes I would try to get them to change. I would write a book on how often that worked, but one page books don?t sell for much.
So how could I have been hooked into a plan that is so obviously flawed and why would I stay with it for such a long time? I think that it is because I never really looked at it. I just got used to being unhappy. I lost sight of the fact that I had a choice. Also, I didn?t know there was any other way to see it. Before I could even consider changing, I had to start really looking at what I was doing.
I started noticing my grievances. Who was I angry at and why? Who did I hold a grudge against? What did I expect from these people and what were my chances of getting it? I was married three times. Each partner seemed very different from the others. Each marriage seemed very different from the others. But if I really looked at it, they were all the same.
I started out looking for something I didn?t have. I found someone who I thought could supply that need. Though I didn?t think of it, they were doing the same thing. Consciously, or unconsciously we made a bargain. You supply my needs and I?ll supply yours. We called this bargain a marriage.
Everything would be fine until one stopped meeting the needs of the other, or until one of us discovered that we had additional needs that were not being met. Then anger would be the inevitable result. I married this man so that I could be happy, and since I am not happy it must be his fault.
No problem, if he is the reason I am unhappy I?ll just trade him for someone who would make me happy. The problem with this plan is that I am looking for my happiness in the wrong place and so I will never find it. I look for my happiness in someone else, and choose a different person with new circumstances, and because it looks different, I think that it is different. But no, it is the same thing all over again, with the same results.
As long as I look outside myself for my happiness, I am never going to find it. What I will find, is somewhere to put my blame. These are my grievances, and they are like dark clouds hiding the light of the world from me. After a lifetime of collecting grievances, my world becomes dark indeed. It becomes a life filled with depression, anger, fear and guilt.
There is a way out of that darkness. God has a plan. Being God, he knew we would need one, and so He placed within us His Guide. This Guide, this Voice for God, the Holy Spirit, is there to help us get back to the light. He is there to help us choose a new plan for happiness.
We spend our lives collecting grievances. Something goes wrong and we look around for someone to blame. These grievances collect like a thunder cloud and imprison us in our misery. The Holy Spirit?s plan is to help us release those grievances, and to reclaim our power in God. And indeed, our power in God is great! We can live in the light of God. We can live in joy and freedom, and this is God?s plan for us. Like any good parent, God wants only happiness for us, his children.
God doesn?t need our help in designing a happy plan for our lives. We can trust that job to Him. What He does need is our complicity in accepting it. In order to see this glorious plan of His, we need to remove the dark clouds we have placed before it. We need to remove the grievances from our lives.
Some of our grievances are obvious. If you were to lose your job you might blame your boss, or the person who took your place. You are unhappy and you think it is their fault. As long as you keep the cause of your unhappiness outside of you, the correction will remain out of your grasp. You have just given your power to someone else. Even if you get a better job, if you are still holding that grudge, you still have that dark cloud obscuring your vision. You are still living in darkness. As long as you believe that someone else has power over you, you will live in fear that they will steal your joy again.
Know that this is not true. Withdraw your projections from the world. You don?t need to place blame. Look within for your happiness. Go to the Christ within and ask God for His plan for your happiness. Getting a new job is a good thing to do, but it isn?t what brings you joy. Forgiveness is the way to bring light into your life again. Release your brother from all blame in your life, and happiness is the inevitable result. This is God?s plan.
Part of God?s plan for happiness for us is abundance. Abundance is not the same as greed. Greed is the collecting of things in an effort to push the darkness back. It never works. You just wind up with more stuff to dust. You wind up spending your time earning money to buy more things that fail to satisfy. True abundance is knowing that what you need will be supplied when you need it. It is never fearing lack because you know that God is your source.
Until you accept your true abundance in God, you will spend your life greedily gobbling up whatever you think will finally fulfill you; special relationships, drugs, electronics, food, the list is endless and a waste of time. It is more than a waste of time, it is an assault on God?s plan for your salvation. It puts you in conflict with your brother.
There is just so much money, stuff, and special love, and if your brother takes it that leaves less for you. That is the law of greed. While we are living under the law of greed, the dark clouds of grievances pile up as we blame our brothers for taking what is ours and condemning us to lack.
Abundance on the other hand is of God. It is perfect as He is; it is unending as He is. There is no need to feel in competition to ?get yours while the getting is good.? In fact the more you get the more there is. The more you give what you got, the more you have. Abundance is a thought, a belief. And a thought cannot be used up. It only grows and is strengthened as it is shared.
Our grievances block the thought of abundance from our consciousness. As we forgive, the light of abundance becomes stronger and stronger in our minds. At first faith in God?s abundance feels like walking on water, but as we forgive more and more and the light of God glows brighter in our mind, it feels like walking on rock. We are perfectly supported and perfectly protected in God.
When I checked into a hotel last week, I was disappointed to not get the room I wanted. The clerk was busy and didn?t want to talk about it. I felt my anger rise. I resented being put in that room which I judged to be lesser than the one I wanted. The angrier I became, the more I found to be angry about. After all, anger is based on thought and what I think about grows. I didn?t have a desk to work at in this room. The computer hook up was in an inconvenient place. Never mind, I couldn?t get on line because their set up didn?t allow for pop up blockers and I couldn?t turn off my blocker without going on line. Catch 22.
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I was angry at the hotel who messed up my reservation, the clerk who wouldn?t take the time to do anything about it, the person who got my room, whoever he was, and the computer system. The more I thought about it, the more things that seemed to be wrong with my life. It was like there was a low lying dark cloud hanging over me.
But wait, I recognize that cloud! The problem is, when you allow your grievances to get so far out of hand, the cloud looks darker and feels thicker. It seems so much harder to get through to the light. I kept taking the whole thing to the Holy Spirit to heal. But then I?d change my mind. By golly, this was their fault. Why do I have to change my mind? I?m the one who was wronged.
I hate that feeling of being under a cloud. I wanted my peace back. But each time I started thinking about it, I got side tracked by angry thoughts. I finally got a pencil and paper because writing helps me focus on God?s answer. I started out by telling the Holy Spirit how amazingly hard it is to release a grievance when I let it get this far even though it doesn?t seem like an important issue. I know that this is just a hotel room, and that I am only going to be here a few hours. Why am I so upset? Sometimes these things hit me with the force of a tsunami, seeming to blow away my peace with no warning. It makes me feel like I am out of control. If I can be bowled over by such a small thing, what happens when it is something big?
Here is the answer I got: ?Myron, they are all the same. A grievance is an attack on God because it is an attack on His creations. It doesn?t matter what it is about. You think they are different grievances and divide them up into many categories in an effort to hide their true nature. But there is a part of you that knows what they are. You are not angry at the hotel clerk. You are angry at a god of your own invention; a god that seems to be bringing bad things into your life. That is how all grievances are the same. They change in form only; the content remains the same. You have invented a god of vengeance and you believe in him. That is why you are so angry. The hotel clerk was just a convenient place to project that anger and felt safer than putting it on your god of vengeance.?
?Myron your false idea of God does not hurt Him. He knows Himself and knows you. It does hurt you, though, by keeping you in hell. It robs you of your peace and makes you think that God does not love you and that you are separate from Him. That is hell. You don?t have to stay there. The light is just on the other side of this grievance. Release yourself by releasing God?s children from your grievances. When you know they are perfectly innocent, you will know that you are perfectly innocent as well.?
I thanked Holy Spirit for His words and His support, and I was finally able to release my grievances and step into my joy. God is so good!
So if you are still looking outside yourself for happiness; if you still think happiness can be found in another person, at circuit city, or at the bottom of a bottle; if you still think that you can get rid of your unhappiness by placing the blame on someone else, do I ever have a plan for you! I invite you to try God?s plan of forgiveness instead. I?ve tried it, and I?ve got to tell you, all of heaven is contained within it. Release your grievances and step into the light.
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