Dear Everyone, these thoughts surfaced to my awareness today.
My desire and decision to be happy seems to have vanished. It’s easier to play the innocent victim role, then to be mindful of the errant thoughts that are not true.
Why do I choose pain and punishment over peace and joy?
Only because I believe that I am unworthy and guilty of attacking God, so I deserve punishment and attack. This feels very heavy to me, it makes it difficult to breath deeply.
It is my own thoughts that attack me, it is my guilt thoughts that make punisment seem justified. Is it really worth protecting my “story” from the light of Truth?
Do I cherish my story so much that I shun the truth of Love? I am insane indeed!! And I allow the insane mind to run the show, drive the bus, make the choices. This I can change.
I change this direction by choosing for Love. I watch my thoughts and do not attach to them or take them seriously.
I watch the thoughts and remind myself that “these thoughts I do not want.”
I ask the Holy Spirit to replace attack and guilt thoughts with Love’s thoughts. I choose to practice mindfulness over and over again,
till the practice becomes a habit, so ingrained that it is second nature to me.
Doing this practice is better use for time then what the ego made time for. Eventually that “new” habit will be my first nature, which is my only nature.
Holy Spirit, I give this day to you ~~~ Guide me in every instant and do not allow a dark thought to go unobserved.
I give all meaningless thoughts to you. Thank you very much. amen.
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