Hello Every Light, 😊
I am going to back step for this entry, as I found an interesting page in my journal from November of 2006, that seems to have significance for later events. I was not having a good day when I wrote, but I did ask Jesus for help.
(Me) I experience fear when I think I have to step off into the void. I am not even sure what the “void” is. I hold the belief that I am alone, there is no help, no support anywhere. This belief is based on “my past” that I carry and drag around with me—but this need not be. My past does not define me. The past is nothing—- it is fearful dreams and mistaken assumptions. What is not real cannot threaten, hurt or direct me. (Ahh, but subconsciously it does those things, in my dream.)
I want to wake, not sleep. I want to love, not fear.
Dear J., It appears the ego is killing me—a bit slowly—what’s the point? The pills don’t seem to help, why would I not want to heal? (This is referring to medication to reduce stomach acid.) What have I done that I need such punishment? If I am afraid of Love and Life, what is the point?
Yes—I feel sorry for myself, I feel like a victim of my ego; it feels like I have no control, no power over the ego. You have taught that the ego idea has no power other than the belief I put into it. How do I stop believing in it? (Answer:)
“By willingness.”
“By asking for a better way.”
“By following.”
On the following day I received these words from Spirit: Your true Self has no ”wants”—it has no perceived needs, because It knows It has all. The little ‘me’ is the entity that “wants” continually and is never satisfied. Do not be tricked by it’s pleas that once “you” have some thing, then it will be happy. How long does that happiness really last? Therein you allow illusion to be substituted for Love. This does nothing in Reality, but maintains your dream of separation and autonomy.
Admit or accept the truth: you did not make your self. You are not now nor ever have been self created. You chose a thought, took it seriously, and mistook it for truth. Layer after layer of guilt thoughts have covered the truth, but it is unchanged. Truth is eternal.
You live in Truth. Truth sustains you, nourishes you, protects you. You are part and one in Truth. Yet your belief in the opposite has made your dream seem real. Your belief in your own guilt has put a shroud over your LIght. I am with you to help you lift the curtain that seems so heavy and impenetrable. Your desire to have peace is what makes the shift possible. Your desire to be whole and offer only love, brings all assistance to you. You have all the help you need to look at the illusions of your dreams. Do not fear this. Call me consistently, listen in stillness, refuse the false gifts the little ‘me’ offers you. They may glitter and shine, but they tarnish and turn to dust as you touch them. This world holds nothing that you truly want.
And from another entry: All your attempts to “fit in” or to be special have failed. That is only because the ego mind will never succeed. What has not worked or been achieved by the ego perception never was at all. What has no cause can have no effects.
You can only be an effect of Love. Only Love is real. Accept the simple truth, and fight no more. Defend no more. Be deceived no more. You are and always have been an effect and extension of Love. Thoughts leave not their source—you have not left your Source. You are perfectly safe, complete, eternal.
Do not believe the dream of sin, for it is wholly false, built on thoughts of fear and guilt. You have the truth within, shining bright beyond the clouds of guilt. You have the power to move past the clouds and see the perfection that you are.
Accept the truth and you are free.
(Me) What I am taking from this, I asked for healing in a big way; I asked to wake from the dream of guilt. My journey into the role of a body with an acute attack of dis-ease, is giving me the opportunity to look at all my unforgiven thoughts and forgving them.
TYVM! (Thank you very much)
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