The last couple of mornings my dreaming has been ones of conflict—good guys vs bad guys—with me feeling much concern over the outcome or trying to get the bad guys to differ or change.
I wondered this morning what it is in my waking dream that I am so conflicted about? The problems with the hospital bills or the inner conflict of not believing that my best interests are being met by Holy Spirit? I realized recently that that was what I was missing~~ when I first went to the doctors/hospital, I knew that H.S. was taking care of everything for me, that H.S.‘s outcome was assured. With the recent flair up of TM symptoms, then I let doubt (ego) enter my mind, and the belief in H.S. was pushed out or covered up.
It is in my best interests to focus my attention on H.S. again. Holy Spirit is still in charge, though I have mistakenly chosen not to notice (be aware) of His presence. When I am all caught up in my dream of images I am trying to make illusions real, and ignoring truth or Love. I will never be happy with this, my manipulation of illusions will never change the “outcome” of ego. Only by giving the illusions (wrong minded thinking) over to H.S. will I receive a happy, peaceful, or loving outcome to any perceived problem in my experience.
Spirit: Do you know what you truly want? The confused mind runs after a thousand different things in the hope of finding some type of satisfaction. This keeps you occupied with meaningless, empty pursuits. In this fruitless search you do not pause to question,” what is this for?” While you are occupied with the outer world you have no time for peace or a quiet turning within, to connect with the inner world that you did not make.
(You value the world you made, and so do not want to give it up.) Yet this quiet place in your mind would give you everything without fail. In quiet you would find every answer, certainty in the stillness that is not denied. What you truly desire is hidden by a world of images, a place of meaningless thoughts.
This is why practice is helpful, even necessary, in the beginning for mind training. You have let your practice slide, you allowed the egoic voice to replace the Voice for Love. You have now another opportunity to practice again listening to Love and letting your thoughts be healed.
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