I have been asking Spirit to show me what I have been afraid to see (own). I think this dream represented all the rage that is buried in my mind.
Dream: Phil and I, Buster and Marge, were all going on a trip. At the beginning it was taking a train (scenic train through Canada). I had no need for the walker and was anticipating a good time. Then it changed to an ocean liner, very upper scale, and huge. I was at the concierge’s getting some cash. (Buster and I had inherited money from our mom).
The concierge had looked up our file, and made a debit from our account, taking out $2,500. I thought that was too much (and wondered what P. would say) and had her put $2000 in the safe, which she put into a canvas bank bag, with our number on it.
I then said I needed help in finding our room as I had not been to it. She gladly took me to the elevators, chatting to me. I was trying to keep track of what floor we were on, which elevator we were using. This was because the ship was humungous, with many banks of elevators, and some floors that rotated. The entrance to a gathering room (salon) could end up on the opposite side of the ship from where you had entered.
During this segment, I kept losing the various people that were leading me or escorting me. I grew more and more frustrated. I was tired, hungry, and just wanted to rest in privacy. It seemed that the different, highly advanced vending machines that were installed for the passengers convenience, had no clear (or none) instructions for use. At one point, a young man was showing me how to use a device to order food, which was confusing to me. Once he thought that I’d gotten the handle of how it worked, he left, and once more I felt stranded because I had no understanding of the machine. I got more frustrated and angry. I began leaving written messages every place on how dissatisfactory and crummy the ship and company were. It seemed to be the wipe-able pen that I had, and at a table, I had a white waxy marker. Some crew members had been sitting there, and moved away as they finished their break, with no concern about what I was doing, or why.
Basically it came down to: I couldn’t find my way and there were no instructions any where to guide (help) me. Any place I ended up at, I was alone and helpless.
It seems to me the frustration and anger I made, show me how I felt betrayed, in this instance by God. “Here I am, plunked into this impossible world with no instructions.” The message from this dream seems to be that this world IS impossible to understand. This world is the opposite in every way to God’s. The ego system wants me to believe that God made this world. For if I truly understood that I made this world, I would no longer tolerate the ego system and its meanings. And I could no longer be mad at God, for He did not create this meaningless world.
Thankfully, Holy Spirit would have me learn that there is nothing here to understand; that only by giving all thoughts to Him will I clear my mind of the meaningless images and ideas. He would have me learn that nothing here is real, for only Love is real and Love is All There Is. He teaches me that I can see differently, by joining Him and looking past the forms in this world.
Father, if I feel anger/rage at being “put” in this world, then I am attending the ego’s teaching. This is not your Will and therefore cannot be mine. Help me see beyond this false image. Father, You are the only Cause, and I would choose only You. I put no other gods/idols before You. Thank You Very Much.
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