Hello EveryOne,
While in the hospital, I surmised since hidden guilt is the underlying factor of what appears in my dream experience, I asked Holy Spirit to show me what guilt I was holding that contributed to the experience of lupus and transverse myelitis. The next day I had thoughts of past relationships, and I realized that I still had huge guilt from a former marriage. My perception was that I had caused major damage (pain) to the other person. I was the “cause” of the ruined partnership, that the fault/guilt was all mine. No amount of “wishing him well” did anything to alleviate my pain when I thought about him.
I then asked H.S. to take all related thoughts of guilt in that relationship for correction; I asked that my mind be healed.
As I was willing to let go of the past, and my perceptions of it, I noticed a sense of lightness come to my mind. I can notice now, that when I think of that person, there is no longer the twinge of pain accompanied with the thought.
Today I was led to read sections 1 and 3 in Chapter 17. I saw how that previous relationship was not intended for healing or holiness, that it would never have succeeded. I also saw how in my current relationship, the times that I asked for help in my thoughts/perceptions, I was given help in the amount that I was willing to accept. Now, whenever I have gotten on the ego wagon, and think I want things, actions different from what my partner does or wants, I ask more and more for H.S. to take over. I remind myself that I want my thoughts healed. I remind myself that I want a holy relationship, not the unholy, unhealed relationship that perpetuates illusion and separation. I remind myself that my brother is simply reflecting my thoughts back to me.
I am so very thankful for the H.S. in my mind, for His unerring correction, and continuous love to support me and my partner.
I could never be where I am today without His Guidance and comfort.
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