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Message: I remember the words in my book, Pause for Inspiration in the midst of everyday life, “Where does your heart go to rest?” My heart has been busy lately, so I am not sure much resting has been going on. Our Pause nonprofit commitments and daily operations are a lot. I really miss writing so I am glad to be writing this now. I feel I need to simply reflect on how life has been going without having to think about what to write about; so, I thank you ahead of time for being with me in this. Ego — the divisiveness in me — makes sure that my heart doesn’t rest. Thankfully I take myself through The Pause Practice daily. However, I went through a period of time in which I received guidance but didn’t follow. Sound familiar? About two years ago I had been rushing around doing so much for so long that it was as if my heart finally said, “That’s it, we’re shutting her down!” This manifested one Sunday morning by way of a panic attack that occurred while in church; I literally thought I was dying. I had a near death experience in 2009 which I call a “Reunion in Heaven.” This one however, came on suddenly, intensely and scared the death out me! I used The Pause Practice and the panic left. My Nearest, Dearest and Truest Self was trying to get my attention because I had not been paying attention. This got my attention for a moment, but then my ego mind convinced me that I couldn’t stop, “There’s too much to do!” Keeping my ego mind schedule in place! The result of this was that I had a second panic attack months later, multiple health scares and a couple of months after that I began having constant anxiety, trouble catching my breath, and crying spells on the kitchen floor out of nowhere. I began feeling very depressed and on a downward spiral. It was as if my Nearest, Dearest and Truest Self in me was wrestling me to the ground saying, “No more, let me help you.” Our True Self really does love us, but we can be so afraid of simply letting LOVE, love us. I must have been ready to receive LOVE; I must have been ready to let go of my plans or none of this would have happened. Why did I need to receive LOVE? Because I was feeling very alone but trying not to feel alone. The separation felt very real and I feared I would never feel whole again. Then, I realized that I was grieving. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org/index.php/Miracles_News/full_article/10359
