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This journey of undoing the concepts I believe in sure is a ride of surprises! The last couple of years of my life have been a fast-moving series of changes: Leaving a stable job to move to three different states, getting divorced, relying on the kindness of others for places to live, recovering from a disabling knee injury, and bouncing from job to job with little more than a couple weeks of cash in my bank account at times. Each event along the way has come with intense periods of darkness; I’ve had to face my belief that events and circumstances could have been avoided if only I’d been better at something; forgiveness, making decisions, loving myself and others, practicing the Course, etc. If I weren’t so flawed, stupid and resistant, I wouldn’t have to go through this, that and the other thing. The main message these thoughts tell me is that I’m not good enough, and that everything “bad” is my fault and I deserve punishment. These periods of deep suffering always have the same result, though. Eventually I am brought to the point where I’ve had enough pain and I take a BIG step back in my mind and remember that God doesn’t agree with me, that I must be wrong. How could I be as guilty and condemned as I tell myself I am? The habit of relying on my own interpretations of my life is being undone with each life event. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org/index.php/Miracles_News/full_article/10694