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I, this mythical me, was born in Israel as an only child in 1949 to a couple, Zdenka and Zvonko Novak, who lost most of their family in the Holocaust (in the Balkans, former Yugoslavia, 1941). Until age 14 I seemed to experience a happy childhood. The black bird appeared in my life in the form of a high school mate who told me that I was gay. This memorable moment caused me to spiral down quickly into insanity. I will not bother you with the details except to mention that death would have been the sweetest solution, yet I knew that it was not an option and decided to continue living. Around age 17 I was introduced to Yoga and later to Zen buddhism. I started studying pure Mathematics and in 1976 moved with my wife Haya and our three year old daughter to the USA to complete my PhD at the University of Connecticut in Storrs. After completing my studies our second daughter was born and the four of us moved to Ithaca NY for my first and only job as a college mathematics teacher at Ithaca College (https://www.ithaca.edu/faculty/novak). Most of my life from age 14 until about 2020 I suffered from deep depressions and at the same time continued to explore spirituality in various forms. The first of the two most significant forms was ACIM. I heard Jerald Jampolsky talk on NPR about the book he wrote: “Love is Letting Go of Fear.” I bought the ACIM book but could not read it for two years because of the Christian style that collided with my Jewish background. But when I entered into a most severe depression the book became an infinite poem and I was singing it in my attic. I also started going to a local ACIM group. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org/index.php/Miracles_News/full_article/10806