Miracles News

October-December, 2019

A Lesson in Responsibility

by Rev. Cathy Silva, O.M.C.

It was during a particularly difficult time with my family when it seemed our home had become a war zone that I learned an important lesson about Responsibility.

I desperately prayed and journaled and prayed some more. I was attempting to go to Spirit for a solution and at the same time trying to figure it out on my own. To trust is to rely upon Spirit totally and I wasn’t quite ready to do that apparently in my “split mind.”

One day it all came to a head and I had to step outside to get some air. I just needed to talk to someone. I needed someone to just listen, to feel like I was not in this alone. I called a trusted friend and began my rant. I was at the end of my rope so to speak. We all have those breaking points where we completely surrender, see the light, and begin to correct course and this was one of mine. As I was at the height of spewing out all the anger I was feeling, a sense of relief came over me. And then an inexplicable sense of calm, clarity, and a life changing realization.

A phrase I once despised hearing when I worked in the corporate world came to my mind: “It’s not my job!” It’s not my job to fix anyone else’s misery and cause their happiness. And then… what I had learned from my practice with the Course bubbled up into my awareness:

I AM responsible only for my own thoughts and resulting behavior.

It became very clear in that moment the mistake I had made over and over again when anyone I cared for was sick, suffering, or experiencing any difficulty. I had taken the blame and responsibility for things that were not my job. I wanted to make everything okay for everyone else because I loved them so much and I wanted so much for them to feel loved and be happy. But, honestly, most of all I wanted to feel loved and happy. More than anything I wanted Peace.

But I had been going about it all wrong. I had taken on handling and fixing what I saw as wrong with everyone and everything outside of me. I had arranged my life and made choices in all I did in my own career and life to be sure that everyone else was okay, happy, and felt loved.

Up until that moment I must have not completely accepted the fact that we all have a choice. Happiness is a choice. Love is a choice. Suffering is also a choice. And it’s being a choice that truly empowers us and frees us from the prison of our own mind that we are holding one another in.

I had a teacher once who would say “When you rescue others you rob them of accountability and responsibility.”

I believe we all want to be responsible for ourselves. We want to feel powerful not powerless when life seems to not go our way. There is a way to trust the innate Wisdom within you and others so all are empowered to grow spiritually and are free to be as we were created — Love extended and expressed in the world of form and beyond.

I was seeing my part in the mess we were in. In that moment I made the decision to rescind ‘my’ way of trying to love and support my children and husband and get love and appreciation in return. After all it wasn’t working very well. The cycle of war just continued and escalated with every futile attempt to gain control and fix things. I put my responsibility where it truly is…on changing my own hurtful thoughts and resulting behavior. I chose to simply love and accept others without conditions. I realized on a deeper level that loving others meant allowing them to walk their journey in the way that is best for them. Allowing them to also be responsible for their own thoughts, beliefs and resulting behaviors meant letting them off the hook for mine… and me off the hook for theirs.

I’ve often thought of the word ‘responsible’ as the ability to respond. We all innately have the ability to respond with love rather than react from fear. In any moment we have the freedom to choose. We can choose to accept the reality of love or believe the illusion of fear.

One question you can ask yourself when things flare up is, “Am I choosing love?” and “What would love do?”

In Chapter 21 of the Course, section II. The Responsibility for Sight it says to:
Say only this, but mean it with no reservations, for here the power of salvation lies.

I am responsible for what I see.

I choose the feelings I experience, and I decide

Upon the goal I would achieve.

And everything that seems to happen to me

I ask for, and receive as I have asked.

It goes on to say:

Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless in the face of what is done to you. Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken, and all effects of your mistakes will disappear.

You are not a victim. You are powerful beyond measure because you have the Spirit of Love within you. Love is expressing through you as your true Self. If we want to truly experience peace and happiness, it’s time to wake up and use our powers for good. It’s time to heal.

Are you ready? Let’s do this!

Rev. Cathy Silva is a Relationship Enhancement Counselor and Author of “Loving One Another — There must be a better way!” - a book being written with Spirit’s Guidance and Love. She can be reached at CathySilva.org or email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)

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