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July - September, 2009

Asking the Right Question

Rev. Annie Arbona

This summer it has been unusually stormy in the area of Charleston where I live. We’ve had a lot of heat lightning, thunder, wind, hail, and of course a lot of rain.

I’ve often wondered if it is all a reflection of the storminess in our minds. On this particular night the answer for me was indeed a yes! As I observed the lightning and thunder outside, I became more and more aware of the storm occurring inside of myself.

In my mind I was hearing thunderous thoughts of anger, dissatisfaction, and scarcity. It was pouring sadness and the inner lightning was flashing questions on my mental screen such as; Why do I have to feel bad? Why does there never seem to be enough? Why do I have to go through these feelings again? And to top it all off, the winds of my personal storm were telling me over and over that everything, including myself, was up in the air. I was feeling more and more distraught and confused as both the outer and the inner storms gained force. 

After what seemed like a very long while, and at the same time felt like an experience that was both timely and necessary, something started to shift inside. There was a lull in the inner storm and then there was a Voice. It was an inner voice and it said, “You are asking the wrong questions.”

Mentally I commented to myself, “What?”  Again the voice said, and this time with more emphasis, “You are asking the wrong question.” And this time it added, ”The only question to ask yourself at this moment is, ‘Who am I?’ … and go deeply into the Who.” With these words, my storm came to a standstill, and the silence produced by the question was impenetrable. No thoughts could penetrate it, no feelings, no comments, no opinions, nothing. It was a moment just to be with the question without even expecting any kind of a response. The question itself seemed to include the answer. I went into the Who, and there was Perfect Peace. There was nothing else to do or think, or ask. The Peace left me in a state of not wanting anything, not needing anything, not even answers. The storm outside had pretty much dwindled also and there was a great calm everywhere.

Then the words of Oscar Hammerstein’s song, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” started going softly through my mind, “When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high….  At the end of the storm, there’s a golden sky… And you’ll never walk alone…” It was so soothing. I knew this was so because in that instant I knew Who I was and I knew Who walked with me. With this, I fell softly to sleep and I rested.

When I woke up the next morning, I felt there was a new space in the center of my heart. It was a space of calm and certainty, a very joyful space that was filled with gratitude. It felt so right to be there, in that space of the healed heart. I decided to read a quote from Byron Katie’s book “Question Your Thinking…”  this is what I opened it to:

“If your mind is clear, you can walk out the door right now, with no friends, no job, no family, no money, no anything, and live absolutely happily. You can’t not have abundance in paradise. In the stillness beyond belief, everything is known: where to go, what to do, when. All of it. The way I live is that I don’t ever have to know anything again — not ever.”

This was the frosting on the cake !!

© 2009, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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