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October - December, 2006

Forgiveness and Responsibility

by Rev. Robert B. Mills

I can relate to having one definition of something and “running” with it in my mind and piling other meanings on top of that meaning to get to some other place. I guess that is the ego “auto pilot” system that is amazing and at times keeps me in the dark.

Even when I do my “spiritual work” I am still capable of miscuing and thinking it is something else. I think that is called “blissing over it.”

For example, I can think and process something with Inner Guidance and think I am dealing with the Truth. But no one else gets the same response or is at odds with “my take” of the solution. I do have noble intentions, really I do, but the “you must be mistaken” comes up in my mind and I either withdraw, gloss over the issue, or find intellectual conventions to support or reject what ever gets in the way. All of this done in a nano second without my conscious intent. When I have the “fight to the death” attitude, hopefully I will stop and notice my peace went out the window.

All of this is happening in my mind. It can be orderly or not so obedient and it follows thousands of years of momentum. This tiny segment of my mind that I thought could be separate from God has been center stage and it seems for eons of time. It looks so real and feels so real, that I began to believe it and only it as reality. I drive myself nutz or you drive me nutz. It does not matter, I am nutz. “Savvy?” (From Pirates of the Caribbean, Capt Jack Sparrow.)

When enough is enough and I give up in frustration and honesty, it seems the answer only comes when I let go of my self will and surrender it all to God. Let go let God. This is not a casual endeavor.

The mainstay in letting go and letting God is forgiveness. My old definition that was at one time center stage of my self will was, “I see your sins, errors, misfortune, as real and I will excuse it this time and please don’t screw up again.” That bad/good scenario of judgment on my part really did not clear or correct my focusing on the error. With this scenario you remain separate from me and I am “better” than you, but I know your behavior can change to be like mine. That is the beginning of “nutz.”

True forgiveness is when I see the error was in my perception of you being capable of errors, sins, and misfortune. I mistakenly created them in my own mind and truly realize that no sin is really there, except in my own mind and that I have missed the mark. I can, through forgiveness, let that go and thus come to the truth, releasing my mind from distortions of separation, and then truly see the Holy Son of God in front of me. Then the hardest part for me is to do nothing. The Course tells me, “Do nothing, then, and let forgiveness show you what to do, through Him Who is your Guide, your Savior and Protector, strong in hope, and certain of your ultimate success.” (W-pII.1.5:1)

When I go back to the basics I find the simplicity: What does the Course say? There is no world. Only the Love of God is real. How do I come to that reality? True forgiveness is my only function. So it is.

So in total honesty and responsibility I can say I am truly sorry if I have ever said too much, too little, or inappropriately slighted you in any way. We are incapable of any such error in Reality and will always be One Light in the Mind of God. Now and Forever more. And I love you.

© 2006, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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