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July-September, 2013

Guilty… NO!  I AM… YES!

by Rev. Linda Wisniewski, O.M.C.

In the dream of separation, Linda, the dreamer has been hypnotized by messages constantly bombarding her and filled with fearful stories of sickness, sin, and death. Until becoming ACIM student, she wasn’t taught to even question the messages and asking whether they were true. She didn’t know she had within her an Inner Teacher that was the Voice of Truth and Wisdom, the Voice for God. She didn’t know she could go within at any time and ask her Inner Teacher, the Holy Spirit, to help her sort out what was real from what was a made up story. Until she learned to trust this Voice, she was lost in a dream of terror and guilt, and in stories of pain, sickness and suffering.

Linda also believed that the way out of suffering and sickness was to focus on changing her behavior or using magical solutions to fix whatever she thought the problem to be. For example, she was told that the pain and swelling in her joints were caused by a tic that had infected her body and that the Lyme’s disease that resulted was creating all the havoc in her body and if she didn’t do something about it, all her organs, including her brain would be infected. This induced such fear in Linda that she forgot to ask Holy Spirit to help her sort out the truth from the fearful stories. Her daughters also were very concerned and kept trying to get her to go to the Doctor and get it healed. She initially got upset with her daughters and blamed them for inducing more fear in her. Was that the truth or were they just broadcasting back to her the fear she had in her own mind that what was going on in her body was real and she was in danger. So, she in fear ran to the doctors and was put on medicine and supplements. Then she felt guilty because she knew the problem was in her mind, not her body, but the fear was so great that she couldn’t trust the loving and healing messages coming from Holy Spirit. And so, Linda the dreamer felt she was a failure and that only increased her feelings of guilt. Not only wasn’t she able to receive the loving messages from Spirit, she felt so guilty about using magic and going to the doctors that the medicine wasn’t working either and she continued to have the pain and inflammation in her joints. What a bind she was in. What was going on?

Finally, in a moment of desperation, Linda humbly called out for help and simply said, “Help me Spirit.” She didn’t use fancy words or come with an agenda or a desire for a particular outcome. She came to Holy Spirit as a child would go to his parent and ask for help. In a gentle voice, she was guided by Spirit to ask in a child like voice two questions:

Holy Spirit, am I guilty?

Holy Spirit, does God love me?

Right after asking she started to notice that the tension in the body was relaxing and she started to laugh. In that holy instant, she felt so loved and safe. As long as Linda, the dreamer of her dream, had been trying to focus on the symptoms and trying to work with the symptoms, she was getting no results. But when she asked these questions as guided by Spirit, she realized that she hadn’t addressed the cause of her perceived suffering. She was only focused on the effects. As soon as she asked the question and the answer was in the question, she realized what the cause of her suffering and perceived sickness was.

The cause wasn’t in the body. It wasn’t the tics that was causing the pain and inflammation. It was the belief in guilt and out of that belief arose stories of sickness, pain and suffering that would confirm her belief in guilt. No wonder that, in spite of the medicine, she was not getting much relief. Should Linda feel guilty for using magical solutions? No, as long as the fear was there. She was learning from ACIM and from Spirit not to deny the fear or feel guilty for the fearful thoughts that come up. As long as she still believed she was a body and could be hurt, she shouldn’t feel guilty for using magical solutions. She knew this time, though, that the magical solutions were not where the healing was and that it was only a temporary measure so that she could focus on where the real problem and the real solution was.

The cause of her pain and the sickness was coming from the mind and the belief that she was guilty and had to atone for her “sins” (i.e. the mistaken thought that she separated from God and Love) through suffering.

The solution was going to Holy Spirit and asking that her mind be healed of her belief in guilt. As her belief in guilt was healed, so would the effects of that belief be healed. And the effects were the stories of sickness and feelings of unworthiness and self-hatred that came from that belief.

And it wasn’t the magical solutions that were the problem either. The magic was not in the solutions but the magical thinking that was going on in Linda’s mind that made her believe she was being punished for a thought she had that she had separated from God and God was out to seek revenge. And of course, the biblical stories in the Old Testament which she bought into only confirmed this belief.

Holy Spirit is helping Linda sort out the real from the unreal. By asking Holy Spirit the child like questions, “Am I guilty? Does God Love me?” Linda is remembering once again the truth of who she is.

“Spirit Am I, a holy Son of God, free of all limits, safe and healed and whole, free to forgive, and free to save the world.” (W-pI.97.7:2)

Thank you Holy Spirit, for asking me to ask the question and receive the Truth. Am I guilty?… NO! Does God Love Me?… Yes! “Spirit Am I, a Holy Son of God.” And through receiving the truth, forgiving that which isn’t true, she can now extend that message into the world and fulfill her purpose.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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