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July-September,  2023

Healing Through Spiritual Relationships

by Rev. Vicki Evans, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Today I reflected on the thought of being open to the spiritual gifts of others and to reinforce this kindness through sincere encouragement. The Pathways of Light course, “Spiritual Relationship Counselor Training,” changed my direction of thinking and paved my way for a miracle of a new perspective.

This course provided me with the learning and techniques to ask open-ended questions that have more than a yes-no answer to help me dig deeper into my relationships for a greater understanding of the person. This helps me give grace and accept what the person gives from their heart. I remember: No expectations, no judgment. Each person has their own set of personal tapes from their past playing in their mind that influences behaviors and reactions, just as I have my own tapes.

Recently, I found myself in the old role of Ego-in-Chief when I was talking to a relative. I started to feel that I had the answers which led me to give advice based on my limited knowledge. Luckily, I stopped myself when I started hearing the “you should…” I remembered that ego is in charge with this type of thinking.

I stepped back and took a moment to go to Holy Spirit and ask for a change of perspective to return to my true Self. I took a deep breath for eight counts, breathing in and then gave myself a slower breathing out pace with 12 counts and repeated this exercise five times.

My head and heart felt open and ready for a reset as I could now act in peace and Love. I could go to my mental space where I store my Course 2010 techniques to bring them to the forefront for a more positive relationship interaction!

“Once you accept the need to change the way you think, your level of willingness expands. You see that changing the way you think is in your own best interest.” (Creating a Spiritual Relationship-Removing the Blocks; Lesson 3, paragraph 4, sentence 1-2 on page 12) 

After going to Holy Spirit and focusing on the meaning of this lesson, I was ready to bring out the tools I learned from this course. After laying ego aside, I remembered the importance of just listening to the other person. I modeled patience with the thought of focusing on being the positive change that I want to see in life by starting this practice with myself.

I started to find joy in listening and added a mindful focus activity of observing my surroundings quietly as I listen to others: the shape of leaves, shadows of artistic tree branches if I am outdoors. Observing ordinary objects as art if I am indoors such as a picture on a wall or the unique shape of each physical object in a room. Combining mindfulness with breathing brought me a gift of peace and the ability to listen with focus and calm.

I really embraced Lesson 11 of the Spiritual Counseling course 2010 as on page 43 paragraph 6. I learned that behaviors are changed by monitoring thoughts and being aware of the mental pictures generated about a partner.

“Changing the thoughts you have about others is one of the key ingredients to successful, nurturing relationships.”

This lesson helped me realize that I want to release judgments of others and accept that we are each doing the best we can. I have been practicing being open to the true nature of others in accepting what they give spiritually in the relationship in the form of connection and oneness instead of trying to change them.

Another technique I learned that I like to use is checking for deeper understanding with caring and open-ended questions that I can ask myself, such as the questions provided from Creating a Spiritual Relationship course; Lesson 11, Item 6, sentences 1-5, page 43. These questions focus on me asking myself how I can be more nurturing with my thoughts, my actions, and with my words. The last question of Item 6 states: “Is this what the highest within me would think, do or say in this relationship?” I now carry this question with me to remind me of who I am in any situation. 

I learned that I do not need to fix anything, just be an attentive, non-judgmental listener! I can be present with no agenda, judgment or advice giving; just bring in Holy Spirit and let the relationship heal and flourish!

This activity of connection helped me cherish the gift of a relationship with others through nurturing these relationships with kindness. It helps me be open to accept myself and others just as we are — Love and Light! My gift that comes from healthy spiritual relationships is better health and wholeness, more peace and calm, and deeper relationships based on trust, compassion, and Oneness!

© 2023, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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