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January-March, 2022

Homecoming

Rev. Maureen Yarbrough, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

“A major contribution of miracles is their strength in releasing you from your false sense of isolation, deprivation and lack.” (T-1.I.42)

A life perceived full of abandonment with feelings of unworthiness and being unlovable corroding my mind… well, I was always on a search to fill this hole in my soul. Alcohol, drugs, sex, relationships… moving on to the next demon when one did not work, as of course, none of them would work. Setting myself up for failure in almost every area of my life, my ego clung to my professional life. It was there I wore a mask of confidence and surety, but I almost sunk that ship, too, on my long and arduous journey of self-destruction.

Darkness, demons, hopelessness… I was so blinded in a fear-taught thought system which I clung to because I trusted and believed in all of those that told me it was true. There is no blame, they all had faith in it, too. It took me to the floor — brought me to my knees and then I found myself in the fetal position, pathways of tears streaming down my face. Oh, the pain and the quiet and messy hope of desperation.

After a restless night of sleep, I made my way to the restroom. There, taped up on the run down dark and damp wall, in much need of some painting, was, “God, please help me to set aside everything that I think I know for an open mind and new experience.”

It was as if I heard an angel’s choir…. There it was! The miracle I had been praying for…. All veils came tumbling down and for the first time in a very, very long time I felt hope and experienced the lightness of joy and gratitude…. For the next year you couldn’t touch the smile that started not on my lips, but in my soul.

“Miracles are examples of right thinking, aligning your perceptions with truth as God created it.” (T-1.I.36)

A Course in Miracles did not find me quite yet at this time, but Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love, did.

In my early twenties I recall coming to the realization that only Love mattered… all else was fluff. It wasn’t enough to return me to sanity, but it was a beginning! So, when a friend gave me A Return to Love to read in 2003, it spoke to me on so many levels.

I felt like it was a Homecoming. I even remember where I was. I was living with my sister at the time, and I was soaking in a bath reading away… engrossed and excited, newly sober, again. I was too intimidated to buy and read ACIM at the time. However, after my miraculous shift described above, it was given to me six months later by my cousin, whom I had not spoken to in many, many years. There are indeed no accidents! And so, then, the start of my awakening, in January 2007, I began working the Lessons and I have not put ACIM down since. 

I know, believe and breathe the Truth of Who it is I am, or shall I say, I AM. Yet, even after all of these years of practice and after all of this time in study and daily repetition of A Course in Miracles, it can still go out the window with an ever so slight blink of the eye — especially in the busy-ness of this world… designed to be full of distractions to entertain my raving me-ego.

So, I will continue forward, trusting, loving, and living joyfully and kindly as a light in this world practicing forgiveness (it starts and ends with me).

My ministry’s mission is to help others see the Light within themselves. I know this, of course, will continue to help me see mine. We will walk each other Home! The destination is definite!

“Only God could make a home that is worthy of His Creations, who have chosen to leave it empty by their own dispossession. ⁵Yet His home will stand forever, and is ready for you when you choose to enter it. Of this you can be wholly certain.” (T-4.I.11:4-6)

I am so very grateful for Pathways of Light and their Spiritual College. Thank you, Mary and Robert, for shining for so many! I want to give a special shout out to my long-time facilitator, Rev. Cathy Silva, as well as all of the facilitators in Step 4… and those walking this path with me: Daniel, Derek, Louie, Sharon, and Heather… you all are INCREDIBLE!

Lastly, my sweet and supportive husband, Freddie. So much love to each of you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank YOU!

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