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October-December, 2020

How Miracles Affected the Health of My Body

by Rev. Rosemarie Tropf, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

I have always had a huge confusion as an ACIM student for many years. Since 1969 I have said to myself that I believe I am not this body, that I am Spirit. But, if I really believe that then shouldn’t I be healthy, happy and reap the rewards of that belief? Instead, I have lived in chronic pain the whole time from Fibromyalgia and spinal degeneration. Why? I ask myself that all the time. How does this all tie together for me?

So I questioned my beliefs, plus, I did a ton of forgiveness work. I did have a very dysfunctional childhood with physical, mental and sexual abuse. Doctors say that stress as a child creates autoimmune diseases. So I did lots of forgiveness work there also. I learned to understand that I came in with a script and that nobody is responsible for my condition but me at some level. I learned how to love my parents again without blame. I agreed that by me blaming others I contributed to my physical pain. So, through doing more forgiveness work for my own tendency to blame others because I was so angry, I learned to not blame others. Is the pain gone now? No.

So I learned to accept that everything is perfect in its time and this is the script that I chose to come in with. I learned to live with gratitude for the Course and the mighty companions I travel with on this path. I have so much love around me now and I have a really nice life. Except for the chronic pain of the body.

So, I feel dissatisfied with that conclusion. Doesn’t seem right to me. I feel like the princess with a pea under her mattress. Something just isn’t right. Recently in a group of ACIM students, including myself, under the tutelage of Myron Jones, we have been studying the Miracle Principles. I love those principles. They are so very enlightening.

For example, miracle principle 39 says, “The miracle dissolves error because the Holy Spirit identifies error as false or unreal.” I thought to myself, “Aha, it’s not me who identifies errors as false or unreal, it’s the Holy Spirit. I kind of knew that before but this principle stayed in my mind for some reason.

I also read in Principle 23: “Miracles rearrange perception and place all levels in true perspective.” Hmmmm? Rearrange perception? Things were beginning to gel in my mind.

Then a few days ago, I had been doing yoga nidra for an hour more, so I felt very relaxed with my mind calm enough that I could easily allow Holy Spirit in. I asked Holy Spirit to help me see this differently.

Holy Spirit showed me there was a movie part of my mind that I took for granted, that was so much a part of me that I never questioned it. Suddenly it popped to the foreground of my mind.

Many years ago I was trained to help people using health foods and vitamins. I was a layman, not a trained nutritionist, but trained only so I could do that job. As a result I read tomes of information about health foods and vitamins as remedies for body pain problems and a lot of it seemed to work. I did this job for close to 20 years, constantly updating those volumes of information.

I raised my children with that information and they were very healthy, never sick, never hospitalized etc. I thought aha. That works! This information became part of my life and part of my mind.

Here, I would like to compare the mind structure to a scaffolding (as a metaphor). I feel like quite a few of the beams on the scaffolding in my mind are made up from this data. I thought it was a successful way of life. After all we never did drugs, we were never sick… even though I was in chronic pain… not actually sick. (My children never knew about this.)

Doctors could never find any reason for this chronic physical pain other than autoimmune stuff… ‘possibly.’ I taught many people how to live a healthier more holistic life. I was rewarded with thanks plus two healthy children who are healthy adults now. So what’s wrong with that you might ask?

What Holy Spirit showed me a couple of days ago is that this information is made up of man-made solutions to an ego-mind created problem. Those tomes of nutritional information are all about man-made laws for health, but those man-made laws do not work every time and they do not work for everybody.

Holy Spirit showed me that as long as I, or anybody, live only by those man-made laws, we will not allow God’s laws to reach our mind. As long as I believe in those man-made laws, I will not ask Holy Spirit to correct my perceptions.

What I did most of my life with that man-made information was loving and well intended, no doubt about that. What I taught myself and others helped to create a healthy lifestyle. Living according to those rules, we had a healthier body than eating fast foods or taking aspirin or pain pills. So I would never think to change a lot of those healthy habits. But the missing part of the equation is Holy Spirit and asking Holy Spirit to teach me about God’s Laws in relation to physical pain and the mind.

So, in Miracles Principle 4 it says: “All miracles mean life, and God is the Giver of Life. His Voice will direct you very specifically.”

How could God direct me specifically when I never asked? Instead, and I didn’t realize it, I was walking around with this health food encyclopedia in my mind giving me solutions to this pain today, and that pain yesterday. I was constantly thinking about my body! Constantly! All day long I walk around thinking about how this muscle works with that vitamin, and how a certain number of hours of sleep fixes that part of the problem and this herbal tea fixes that area of the body etc. It was like question and answer in my mind day and night. And I was solving every one of those questions about this and that pain with that mental encyclopedia in my head with herbs, vitamins and nutrition.

I knew as a Course student that my body was a result of my thoughts. So I did forgiveness work on my thoughts constantly. But I never looked at these thoughts concerning man-made laws and man-made solutions to body issues. Holy Spirit showed me how many of my thoughts every hour every day are about this body. I have heard so many times you are what you focus on, or that you are your thoughts. I would think to myself, “What horrible, evil thoughts do I have that I am not seeing?”

It turns out they are not nasty evil thoughts… they are merely mistaken perceptions and false errors about the body being subject to only man-made laws. Because of that mistaken perception, I never asked Holy Spirit to show me what my pain means or how to see this differently, or how my thoughts (about pain) are images I have made. I was not asking Holy Spirit how this pain holds the meaning I give it, or how I am never upset for the reason I think. Instead I would reach for the vitamins and, “accept my fate,” kind of thinking. I asked Holy Spirit to help me decipher my life for so many other things but not for physical pain for some reason. What reason?

The reason is I had this encyclopedia in my mind giving me solutions I never once thought to question.

Since I saw this I have been asking Holy Spirit when I feel the pains, noticing small incremental changes in my perceptions. For example, I wanted to paint this morning and I wanted to write this article. But I felt tired and said to myself, “I’m too tired. I wonder if I need more B Vitamins.” I caught that thought and instead listened to Holy Spirit Who said, “Maybe you wouldn’t be so tired if you write that article.” Wow. All of a sudden I wasn’t so tired… I thought to myself, “This is so simple… I will do that.” And I am doing this article now. Then I will paint for a while. That’s using my mind to create my life with Holy Spirit guiding me. I had procrastination and false information, not fatigue.

That is a mental thought pattern that I can change, but only with Holy Spirit’s guidance. That would be allowing God’s Laws into my mind regarding physical pain. Man-made laws do not fix the mind. The mind creates the problem but the ego-mind is not the solution. Only God’s laws, (such as the daily lessons) with Holy Spirit’s guidance can change my mind, which is the only way to apply this “mind healing program” called ACIM. I am grateful for ACIM, and for Jesus and Holy Spirit. I am also grateful to Pathways of Light for all Robert and Mary do to keep this alive for us. They are truly mighty companions.

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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