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July-September, 2012

Lesson 32: I Have Invented the World I See

by Rev. Gail Hamley, O.M.C.

I have done this lesson numerous times and tried to work with it as I understood it. Releasing my attitudes and opinions has been a constant practice, yet I still struggled with life-long challenges. 

One morning as I awoke, I had a strange sensation and the small inner Voice said, “There is no difference between this dream and the one you had in sleep.” It indeed felt the same and I had a new awareness of Reality. I understood or I would venture to say I had a knowing that just as my nighttime dreams are created by my mind, so were my daytime experiences, which Spirit also called a dream.

The fact that my eyes are open and I feel like I am really here in the experience is of little consequence. I began to play with this a bit. If something was occurring that I didn’t like, I would ask myself what I would change if this were a nighttime dream?

I would shift my thoughts and my experience would change — not that the outer changed always — but my inner experience shifted. For example, my sister was visiting me for several days and I had taken her to the airport. When I returned home, the house seemed so empty and lonely. I missed her terribly. Then I remembered that this is a dream and suddenly my loneliness for my sister evaporated!

If she visited in this dream then she cannot be gone. See? This lesson gets quite deep. Have you ever had someone visit you in a nighttime dream? You typically don’t feel the emotion of ‘losing’ them when they leave. They are simply not visible in the dream any more. 

This way of being is not like one might do to avoid emotions or living. No, it is quite the opposite. An awareness has sprung alive within me. If I am responsible for my world, then certainly I can change my mind to reflect a world of godliness. And I know that my world reflects that godliness only as I understand it now! There is more, always more, and I am always evolving.

As for my life-long challenges, I will share that I have felt unworthy to be in a healthy loving relationship. This unworthiness came from very early childhood experiences and I thought if I just continued to get into relationships, this feeling would go away. What really occurred was I attracted people who ‘agreed’ with me and the experience was less than loving — each and every time. I continued to live my misbelief just as the lesson says.

Recently I really got it: Let go of the thought that I am unworthy — not to get anything (like a new relationship) but simply because this is the Truth! Why drag this untruth through my dream any longer? Like magic the thought evaporated and I felt so incredibly free! The boulder I had been carrying on my back to try to get it to a higher place was gone.

I had been trying to make an untruth work at a higher level of consciousness. That is impossible and the reason I struggled all these years. I had to raise my consciousness instead and everything shifted to accommodate my new Reality.

As I work with the lessons in ACIM, I gain insights and awarenesses according to my understanding. It is just as this lesson says. When I align with Truth in Spirit, my life/world reflects it with ease.

© 2012, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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