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April-June, 2020

Mission No Longer Impossible

by Kathy Croy, Pathways of Light Miracles Practitioner student

The “Mission Impossible” TV series originated the year I graduated from high school. It was an intriguing plot that involved individuals willing to put life and limb on the line to avert crime and expose the bad guys. It was interesting enough that I watched whenever my schedule permitted, and I was always amazed at the clever ways the characters accomplished those missions.

Fast forward 50+ years, and the concept revisited me as I contemplated Lesson 106 recently.

“Let me be still and listen to the truth.

My voice is His, to give what I receive.”

There is an individual who deeply hurt me several years ago. I won’t share details other than to say the only worse thing that could have happened would have been for this person to take my life — which, honestly, at the time probably would have been an act of mercy. In the years since, I’ve experienced a veritable rainbow of ego intent towards this person — everything from hate and resentment to bitterness. Now I have moved to the unthinkable:

Pure love.

Over the past year, following years of Course-led forgiveness practices — mainly of myself, surprisingly enough, because it all starts with me — I can honestly say I hold nothing but intense, pure loving thoughts towards my former nemesis. I pray intentional blessings, prosperity and goodness from a heart that has completely released offense.

However, this did not come without a cost. Ego perpetuated a niggling sense of personal guilt. Why would I be feeling such intense love towards this individual when I have no contact, no future, no personal gain other than peace, finally? Was I hiding ulterior motives? I asked Holy Spirit for clarification, correction, and direction. Each time the question has been met with another sense of consuming, blazing love.

Again, this morning, as I read Lesson 106 again, it became clear that this is my opportunity to accept “The Mission.” This isn’t about me or a former enemy; it’s about the Sonship and salvation of the world. It’s doing my small part to redeem a former hate the Course talks about. Holy Spirit knew I probably wouldn’t get the message — or the invitation — unless it was engraved with His handwriting.

Paragraph 5 of Lesson 106 brought this to light:

“Hear Him today, and listen to the Word which lifts the veil that lies upon the earth, and wakes all those who sleep and cannot see. God calls to them through you. He needs your voice to speak to them, for who could reach God’s Son except his Father calling through your Self? Hear Him today and offer Him your voice to speak to all the multitude who wait to hear the Word that He will speak today.”

While I was extremely relieved to have released the egoic attacks toward this person, the overwhelming love felt inappropriate, self-serving, terrifying, and just plain wrong. But this morning as I stated my Rules for Decision, I was inspired to take a closer look at this “wrongness.” Could the ego be throwing its selfish veil over this love, trying to hide God’s intent in using my experience as a tool for salvation and not a weapon to silence me?

In Manual for Teachers, Section 4.A.4:5-7 we are told,

“It takes great learning to understand that all things, events, encounters and circumstances are helpful. It is only to the degree which they are helpful that any degree of reality should be accorded to them in this world of illusion. The word “value” can apply to nothing else.”

I have now realized my previous perception of this devastating past experience has been miraculously transformed into an opportunity to extend love. The individual whose likeness is the inspiration for understanding that love is not the sole target. God intends this not only help me understand the intensity of His love for me, but His love for the world. I now have a clearer understanding of the Oneness I’ve been reading about.

At the end of Lesson 72, paragraph 13:3-4 the Course is clear about the alternative.

“Holding grievances is an attack on God’s plan for salvation. Let me accept it instead.”

Instead of ego tempting me to guilt and hiding away the intensity of God’s love for the world, I am accepting His Mission; no longer impossible.

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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