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January-March, 2014

My Burning Bush

by Rev. Cathy Doran, O.M.C.

“I am going to take the Pathways of Light Ministerial Courses,” I told my husband. “But don’t worry. I’m not going to be a preacher or anything. I’m just taking them for my own edification.”

“I love these courses and my life is changing completely because of them,” I told my friends, “But a collar will choke me.”

I felt scarred by religion and I avoided ‘ministers’ like the plague. But I couldn’t seem to escape the tug of Spirit. It has always been there. I have been in a push-pull relationship with God all my life, cycling between reaching out to Spirit and resisting, running as soon as I felt His response. It seemed that feeling the power of Love invoked a deep fear in me. More than once I recognized in myself what I call the Moses syndrome. Despite the undeniable call of God to me, I argued with Him that I am not worthy, that surely He had made a mistake.

I had been studying with Rev. Myron for a couple of years when she invited me to a Way of Mastery workshop in Florida. During the workshop discussion, I spoke of my son, Eric, who had made his transition in 1989 when he was 15, still a painful wound for me. I experienced a powerful healing there, as did others. Afterwards, the workshop facilitator called me aside and asked me a couple of questions about Eric. It seems that she had accompanied her son on a visit to a psychic a few months previously and received a message from a young man. He had asked that she give a message to his mother. At the time she wrote the message down and filed it away, not knowing who it might be for or what else to do with it. The message left no doubt that it was intended for me. It was very personal and explicitly concerned with Eric.

Now I must say that I am no stranger to “spirits.” My father was involved in restoring the Myrtles, a famous haunted plantation home in St. Francisville, LA. While I have never seen or heard ghosts or spirits, I have felt their presence more than once. But I certainly never expected to receive a personal message from ‘the other side.’

I was amazed and wondered what it might mean for me. One of the most intriguing parts of the message was, “Keep reaching out to me.”

A couple of months later I had an opportunity to talk with another Pathways minister about this and came to a fuller understanding of the experience. If we are all one, my son is in reality my Self. If the message was from him, I was being encouraged to continue to reach my True Self.

A few more months passed. I finished my ministerial courses and was ordained. Almost immediately I was moved to another state, Arkansas. That was two years ago. The questions and uncertainty remained. What I am I supposed be doing here? Who is this Rev. Cathy person? I haven’t yet given my information to be listed on the Pathways website. The move was a good excuse to put that off. I’ve taught a few courses. I’ve facilitated some groups. I’ve given a couple of talks. I’ve done a few ceremonies. And I’ve wriggled out of a few ministerial opportunities at the local church. But I have been going deeper on a personal level. I have been reaching to my True Self. And there have been spiritual shifts.

Recently I was asked to help establish a non-profit spiritual organization. Part of my duties will be ministerial. I agreed. I’m excited about it. But questioned, still, “Is this what I’m supposed to be doing?” Being a Reverend seems so foreign and yet so natural. I felt torn and somehow lost. I was looking for direction.

My husband, David, and I planned a trip to Eureka Springs last month. It is a beautiful little town nestled in the Ozark Mountains. When we visited last year, I had seen an advertisement for Intrigue Theatre: The Illusionist and the Medium and was disappointed that the shows were all sold out. So this year I bought premium tickets in advance. I eagerly anticipated the show.

When we arrived at the theater we were escorted to the center aisle seats on the front row. I had not realized how ‘premium’ the premium tickets were! The first half of the show was the Illusionist, Sean-Paul. He had perfect timing and was very smooth cutting Julianne Faye, his wife and the medium, in half, and bending spoons. He did some other amazing things too like a past life regression. That was mind boggling. The second half of the show was the Medium, Julianne Fay. She levitated, papers flew around and bells rang. Very entertaining!

I was a chosen volunteer at one point. I was asked to write on a small framed chalkboard the year of an important event that no one in the audience was aware of. I wrote 1988 and handed it to another volunteer who kept it hidden. Then Sean Paul took two blank chalkboards and held them together. He had me place a small piece of chalk between them. He gave them to me to hold tightly together and led me behind a curtain with Julianne Fay. She was in a trance, tied to a chair and never moved. When he closed the curtain, I felt a very strong tingling and vibrating from my head to my toes. Then I heard and felt the chalk moving between the boards! It wrote — yes, you guessed it — 1988! I was shaking when I returned to my seat.

Later she was blindfolded and he walked out in the audience collecting objects (credit cards, jewelry, make-up items, etc.) from the spectators which she promptly identified and sometimes gave a little personal background to the owner of the object. He had started in the back and was working his way to the front.

I dug through my purse to find something very unusual for her to identify: My Pathways of Light laminated minister card. David pulled out a photo of his kids. When Sean Paul had worked his way to us, he skipped me and took the photo from David.

The blindfolded Julianne said, “Wait. I have a message for someone. This person is a counselor. They walk in the light… lead others in light… walk, lead others in light… show others their oneness with light… walking in the light…” I handed my card to Sean Paul at this point.

“This person also has technical training; in the health care field.” I am a Registered Nurse.

“They are strong in the light. We wish they would do more with the light… expand this light, light.”

David and I were astounded. The spirits were telling me, in no uncertain terms, to focus on the ministry. It looks like it is time for Moses to return to Egypt.

Returning home, the spiritual organization, Adamah Kedosha, which is Hebrew for Sacred Space, is coming together. We have our Tax ID and have filed for 501(c)3 non-profit status. Our website is http://www.adamahkendosha.com. Our first event, a Day of Silence, is set for this weekend. And building and remodeling plans are coming together. I’m facilitating a new ACIM study group. And, yes, I am getting my paperwork and picture together for the Pathways website. Looks like I better get my running shoes out if I am to keep up with Spirit!

I suppose I might have a Moses complex. And I got my own burning bush. But mostly, I have peace knowing that I am, as we all are, a minister of God. I have a knowing, deeper than ever before, that I am never alone and never without purpose.

“I am here only to be truly helpful. I am here to represent Him Who sent me. I do not have to worry about what to say or what to do, because He Who sent me will direct me. I am content to be wherever He wishes knowing He goes there with me. I will be healed as I let Him teach me to heal.” (ACIM T-2.V.A.18:2-6)

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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