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October-December, 2019

Reaching for the Creative Level

by Rev. Larry Glenz, O.M.C.

“The real purpose of this world is to use it to correct your unbelief. You can never control the effects of fear yourself because you made fear, and you believe in what you made.” (T-1.VI.4:1-2)

I was stunned. After three years of treatment, my oncologist told me that my prostate cancer has escaped the prostate and has now spread to the lymph nodes. It is hard to describe what the fear felt like when I received this news. I never thought that my cancer treatment would not work. The radiation therapy has tested to be over 90% effective. It did not work on me.

I changed doctors and hospitals and followed that first treatment with radioactive seeds that also has a high success rate as a salvage treatment. But after a year my P.S.A. (a prostate cancer indicator) continued to rise.

The P.E.T. scan that followed confirmed that the cancer has metastasized. It was strongly recommended that a new treatment of hormonal therapy should be undertaken immediately.

I had never allowed myself to believe that this could happen. I most certainly felt scared upon hearing this diagnosis. And so did my wife Laura and the rest of my family and friends.

As a long-time student of ACIM and Pathways of Light minister, I have been trained where to take this fear. I was somehow guided to the first chapter of the Text and was told:

“All aspects of fear are untrue because they do not exist at the creative level, and therefore do not exist at all. To whatever extent you are willing to submit your beliefs to this test, to that extent are your perceptions corrected.” (T-1.VI.5:1-2)  Am I willing to submit my beliefs to this test?

This “creative level” where fear does not exist at all is felt when I am connected to Holy Spirit. To ask Holy Spirit how I should see this situation is the only real decision I must make. When I am thinking at this creative level — meaning that I am connected to Holy Spirit — the fear dissipates.

When the fear sneaks back in, I know where to go with it. I can pause and ask, “Holy Spirit, how would you have me see this?” It is part of my daily spiritual practice to read from A Course in Miracles, to meditate, and to write in my journal. Feeling Holy Spirit’s touch upon me gives me courage to handle difficulties in life.

I have had the experience of being carried by Spirit during this dream I call my life. When I was feeling very weak and vulnerable during my divorce 25 years ago, it was my introduction to ACIM that helped to restore my confidence and positive attitude.

During my years as the principle caregiver for my mom who suffered from dementia, it was my connection to Spirit that guided and strengthened me. And during the years of my son Kevin’s opioid addiction, it was Christ’s touch that allowed me to feel the love in the most frightening moments. Since Kevin passed over 9 years ago, I have felt great strength in telling his story to those that need to hear it.

Turning to Holy Spirit during these tough times has given me the trust that He has my back. This is the creative level. My cancer diagnosis is actually not so difficult to handle when I am willing to submit my beliefs to this test.

All things are lessons God would have me learn. This world is to be seen as a classroom. Everything that happens is perfect for my continued spiritual growth.

“I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me.”

These words were in my recent 20 review lessons in the Workbook. Never before have I felt them so deeply. And the words from the Text each morning now seem to be speaking very personally to me.

It has taken a few weeks for me to settle in to the idea that my condition is perfect for my continued spiritual growth. It is also my opportunity to be one of God’s teachers, as others will observe my attitude toward this illness.

When I hear that others are praying for me, I say, “Thank you. Please just send me love.” I know from experience what this love can do. It was all the love that was sent my way when Kevin died that allowed my heart and the heart of my family to heal.

I have been taught that, when seen correctly, nothing can really go wrong. In my weaker moments I forget this. But my daily spiritual practice brings me right back to the love I am experiencing.

I am grateful for all the circumstances that appear in my life when I remember to go to that “creative level.” I am the one who made this fear. And it is I who can decide to hand it over to Spirit.

I have been guided to a new doctor and a new hospital. I am now being treated at Memorial Sloane Kettering in New York City — considered by many to be one of the finest hospitals for cancer in the world. But that is not where my trust lies.

When I decide for God, I am free.  This faith is His gift. I plan to stay on this creative level with His help. And thank you for all the love you send.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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