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April-June, 2013

Relax and Row, Row Your Boat, Gently…

by Rev. Ken Gorman, O.M.C.

These are two suggestions that Robert and Mary seem to repeat often and every time they do, my Inner Guide says something like, ‘there it is again… just listen.’

This suggestion, after decades of study and practice of ACIM, reading anything else related I could get my hands on, a nearly graduate degree in Buddhist Philosophy and the rest… surely I should be closer to enlightenment now than when I started, as all of these things create a deeper and deeper perspective and wow, some amazing teachers, etc.

So what is this “Row, Row Your Boat” and “Just Relax” idea? And why I am I finding the simplicity of the new 30-day Listen and Receive program so powerful? And why the more that I study do I realize that the things that would need to be understood to get anywhere just get bigger and bigger and therefore more and more out of the reach of my intellect?

And why do we have this great big complicated text and think we are actually understanding anything when the text clearly states that ‘I do not know what anything, including this means and therefore I do not know how to respond’ is one of the most powerful statements in the Course (followed closely by statements like ‘My Meaningless Thoughts are Showing me a Meaningless World’). I feel seduced into time and again attempting to construct a ‘meaningful’ Course in Miracles compatible world with Course in Miracles compatible ‘meaningful thoughts’ based on my so called extensive study and understanding of ACIM and run this story that I am achieving something… or so my (spiritual) ego tells me… one has to laugh.

I am not sure I have the answer to this (as that would be more thoughts 😉 but I am now pretty sure I cant ‘get it’ with my intellect and there would seem to be nothing to do in a meaningless world (at least from my ego perspective) as we are already the Son of God, etc… So maybe the only thing to do would be to surrender to something greater that I don’t understand that would lead me back to true awareness. However, that something greater must need my permission… like a doctor needs your permission to do surgery but beyond that we have no knowledge of what they do as we are knocked out. The fact it needs my permission is self evident as, if not, it would have already done its work by now which would also imply I have been with holding permission somehow and running my own show.

Then it says in the Course (first paragraph) that free will does not mean we create the curriculum. This implies a curriculum (a set of events over time), that I don’t understand both in means nor the steps along the way, which will be done for me, if I give permission. If I assume that permission is really just willingness then I suppose that would be aligned with the instruction that only ‘Willingness and Vigilance’ are required (I have never been aware of ACIM advocating accumulation of knowledge or judgment of progress as prerequisites).

That would also mean that once I am willing, a process will happen that maybe I just have to allow, sort of like an unfolding… or maybe like Gently Rowing my Boat Down the Stream… and just Relaxing so I don’t get in the way and go along and play my part with whatever is unfolding? (To me, this also ties into the Way of Mastery instruction to Allow, Allow, Allow once the right intention or willingness has been set).

For me, I think the practice part is very important as it helps me to stay in that space and get out of the way… somehow I can get my body to do things when the Spirit is weak and the ego busy (like get on my knees or smile at someone) and the studying and talking to people keeps me inspired so that I do relax and go more gently rather than give in to ego’s neurosis… but I have lost the idea that I am actually understanding anything beyond what is part of the plan for the present moment… and that tends to seem be intuitive/feeling that comes naturally when I just… relax.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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