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January-March, 2014

Responding with Holy Spirit’s Guidance

by Rev. Peggy Rivera, O.M.C.

Many years ago my husband and I invited one of our nieces to live with us. She was sixteen and was living with my mother and father. She was at an age that was becoming increasingly stressful on the aging couple so we thought it may be helpful for all of us to bring her into our home.

She was a quiet girl, although opinionated at times. She and my son, who was a couple of years younger than her, seemed to get along well. They rode to school together and she even dated one of his friends.

Never having had a daughter of my own, I was so happy to have this girl in my life, but I really had no idea what I was in for. I thought the best therapy was retail therapy, so whenever I saw her looking sad I’d say, let’s go shopping. That would always bring a smile to her face so I thought, “Wow, magic!”

Needless to say, that didn’t work for long. I felt sad because, no matter how hard I tried to make her happy, she always said she felt like she didn’t belong anywhere.

I wish I would have known then what I know now. I wasn’t studying A Course In Miracles at that time. If I had, I would have been much better equipped to help her.

To make a long story shorter than it could be, she eventually connected with an old boyfriend and she hurried off to marry him. She was desperately trying to belong somewhere. After three children and a very rocky relationship, the marriage ended. I tried to help her by supporting her financially, but I soon realized that I could not afford to keep up with her monetary needs. When I told her this, we had a major argument and we didn’t speak for quite a while.

Recently I posted an old picture of my mother on facebook. My niece wrote a note about how much she missed her and how she had no one in her life to talk to like that anymore. My initial feelings about that were anger and grief. I wanted to lash out at her, and tell her that she would have had us in her life had she not disregarded us like she did.

But now I do have A Course In Miracles. I do know how to ask for help from Holy Spirit, so that is what I did. I asked, “Holy Spirit, please help me see this differently.” I immediately heard the gentle coaxing of a familiar Voice that said, “It’s about needing Love.”

I then acknowledged that this isn’t about me. My ego was really trying to make me feel like a victim, but I knew in that very moment that if I said anything to defend myself, I would be insuring more separation.

Whenever my peace is interrupted, I have to look more closely. As it says in Chapter 11 of the Text, “No one can escape from illusions unless he looks at them, for not looking is the way they are protected.” (T-11.V.1:1) and …”What is healing but the removal of all that stands in the way of knowledge?” (T-11.V.2:1)

Then I pictured my niece in my mind and this time I could see her call for Love. Maybe she did not know a better way to ask for Love and she was doing it in the way she always did.

She posted a picture of me and my husband from the time she had lived with us and wrote, “Halloween with these two.” I wrote back, “I remember that.” Then she wrote, “Those were good times.” If I had responded with my ego based hurt, I would have caused more separation. As I remembered to step back and ask for Guidance, I was able to see the truth. I thanked Holy Spirit for helping me to see it differently — to see only Love and to respond with Love.

Now I will always remember to go to Holy Spirit for guidance. In the Text it says, “Those who remember always that they know nothing and who have become willing to learn everything will learn it, but whenever they trust themselves, they will not learn.” (T14.XI.12:1-2) “…If you want peace you must abandon the teacher of attack. The Teacher of Peace will never abandon you.” (T14.XI.14:1-2)

It is so easy to slip back into old habits, like being defensive, blaming others for my sadness, and pretending I am a victim in a world that I have no control over. I had a lot of training in that. It really takes practice remembering, “I don’t know what anything including this means. And I do not know how to respond to it. And I will not use my own past learning as the light to guide me now.” (T-14.XI.6:7-9) Although it takes practice, it is well worth the effort. I can totally see how my error has created distance from the people I love. Now I realize that the ego was doing its job well, but I am not going to support it in its drama anymore. I choose peace, I choose Love, and I choose to listen to the guidance I receive from the Holy Spirit. I am the Son of God and I see only perfection in my brother.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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