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January-April, 2024

Something

by Rev. Vicki Rostant, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

In a recent weekly Pathways of Light Sunday morning ACIM Interactive Discussion meeting, the section chosen for reading and discussion was Chapter 16, Section II. The Power of Holiness. Paragraph 2 stood out for me, especially the last sentence: “And so there must be Something in you that does understand.”

I was prompted by Holy Spirit to share the following:

M and I had been friends for a couple of decades. We had bonded over books — classics and not-so-classic ones; poetry — Rumi was her favorite, and A Course in Miracles.

We delighted in each other’s company, sharing stories from our past — hers from Scotland, mine from the West Indies.  She had a great sense of humor, and we shared much laughter.

In 2019, her son suggested that she give up her apartment in the city and move closer to him and his family, out of town. His two children were eight and six years old, and they loved their grandmother, but did not get to see her very often because of the distance. Feeling settled and energetic then, she said she wasn’t ready to move. 

Then the pandemic happened. The lock down during the first year of COVID lead her to the tendency towards increasing isolation and depression. Her neighbors in the apartment building remained supportive through phone calls and safe doorway contact. I called regularly, and we met at her apartment for lunch when conditions allowed. Then I started noticing that she was canceling our lunch dates more and more, due to various “illnesses.”  Her sister in Texas and I were growing more concerned about signs of increasing dementia.

She reached her 80th birthday during the second year of the Covid situation. She confessed that that number hit her “like a ton of bricks!” By then, her isolation and depression were getting stronger. In the early part of the third year, events kept me from visiting as often, though I checked in with her regularly via the telephone. When I did go over to see her, I was shocked at how much weight she had lost! Obviously, her son had noticed this and the dementia, and had gotten her a medical alert to wear around her neck.

In early June/23, she fell during the night, and pushed the button on her alert. The medics took her to a local hospital. I visited her once, then she was moved to a rehabilitation centre, further away.  When I went to visit, I saw that it was a centre for patients in varying stages of dementia. I phoned her regularly, and went to visit almost every week, on Sundays. She did not remember any of the sequence of events. Despite this, every time I visited, her sense of humor and her wit were as scintillating as it had always been!

I knew her son had put her name in for a room at several care homes in his area. The wait lists for these places are usually very long, but I knew it was only a matter of time before she would be moved. Visiting her then would not be easy because of the distance. On Sunday, September 17/23, I was not in the mood to drive across town to visit M. I had not slept well, was very tired, and had a hectic week coming up. I kept fussing to my partner that, “I don’t feel like going today! I’ve been going regularly, and I’ll go next week!” Gently at first, then more insistently, “Something” kept telling me that I must go.

Having long been a reluctant listener, but having learned more and more to trust that Voice, I got in the car and drove over.  She was in great spirits. We had a lovely visit — reminiscing, telling stories, chatting and laughing for a couple of hours.

On the following Monday, her son texted me that she would be moved that week. On Wednesday she was transported to a home closer to her family. We continue to chat on the phone.  I am so grateful to Holy Spirit that we have that memory, until we meet again.

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