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July - September, 2008

Surrounded by Angels

Rev. Johannys Hartog

It was like I was deaf when I was told the news. My brain couldn’t process what my ears had just heard.

The afternoon of July 18, 2007 was beautiful. I was at my home with one of my sisters, helping her with some projects, when the phone rang. The doctor was calling to give me the results of my breast biopsy, which I had repeatedly been told would be negative. I remember her words clearly. She coldly said,  “Unfortunately, you have cancer.”  What? She repeated those words.  I remember my heart beat accelerating.

Fortunately for me, I had already started the journey of becoming an Ordained Minister through Pathways of Light Spiritual College. I had also recently become a Licensed Unity Teacher. I saw the Pathways of Light courses as one more step on my journey to my true home with God. I know I have a call to serve through a ministry, and whatever the way I am guided to serve, I will say yes. Still, the diagnosis I heard that July day preoccupied my thoughts, changed my plans, and affected my whole world dramatically. I had been unable to carry babies to term, and now I doubted if motherhood would ever be in my future.  My job as an assistant Unity Minister, which seemed so important before, now became almost unimportant. My husband Jack’s loving concern and our life together were the center of my thoughts.

As A Course in Miracles student and facilitator for several years, I knew that the illness was not witnessing the truth of who I am. It was, to speak plainly, a lie.  I knew that God didn’t create this breast tumor; I knew that I was born with all I need to be able to express what we all are called to express: my holiness and oneness with God and every being. Anything else is just an invention of my erroneous mind. What was not created by God doesn’t have any power over me. As it is said in A Course in Miracles, ”The ego has a profound investment in sickness. If you are sick, you cannot object to your ego’s firm belief that you are not invulnerable.” T-8.Vlll.3:2

Whatever the thought in my mind that created this illness, the Holy Spirit will undo it with a little willingness on my part, for as it is said in A Course in Miracles, “Healing is always certain. It is impossible to let illusions be brought to truth and keep the illusions.” M- 6.1:1 and “Healing is the change of mind that the Holy Spirit in the patient’s mind is seeking for him.” M-6.4:3

At that time, I was helping my Pathways of Light facilitator, Rev. Annie Arbona, translate the Pathways of Light courses into Spanish. Through that relationship, I had been blessed to be able to bond with Mary and Robert, the founders of the Pathways of Light Spiritual College.

Soon after my diagnosis, on a Saturday morning, by phone,  Robert, Mary, Sharyn Zenz and Annie conducted a healing prayer service. My beloved husband, Jack, silently sat by my side, listening to the inspirational words and heart sentiments.  All they did was to remind me of my innocence again and again, while I opened my heart to accept this truth.

My surgery to remove the tumor was scheduled. Though my faith was strong, I knew the diagnosis had profoundly affected me, giving me periodic dark moods and sapping my strength. Although my eternal Self knew better, my ego allowed the diagnosis to cause me to spend many restless nights reviewing my past life and wondering about the future.
 
The night before the scheduled early morning lumpectomy, I went to take a shower.  In the bathroom, I heard the Voice for God, who I identify as Jesus, which I had often heard before. His words were unmistakable: “The nightmare is over.”  The nightmare is over. The nightmare is over! Thank you God! My knees buckled at the awesomeness of this assurance.  I couldn’t help but kneel down and say again and again, “Thank you God. Thank you Jesus.”  That night I slept like a baby knowing that everything was already OK.  In the mind of God, my prayers for health had long been answered.

On September 13, which happened to be The World Day of Prayer, I had the tumor removed. I remember waking up after the procedure and the surgeon telling me:  “You are the happiest person that I have ever operated on. You have being smiling during the whole procedure.” I knew, just knew, this operation would be the end of my cancer and that this whole episode would serve only to make me a stronger, healthier spiritual person.

A few days later, the pathology results showed that I had no cancer cells around the tumor. The cancer had not spread anywhere and the probabilities of recurrence were very low. I didn’t need chemotherapy; there was a recommendation to undergo radiation for six weeks, which I refused. I knew I was completely, 100%, healed.
 
Through this process I was surrounded by angels everywhere, in addition to Mary, Robert, Sharyn and Annie. “That is nothing,” were the words of one friend, steeped in A Course in Miracles, when I called her to tell her the news about the diagnosis. We engaged in a holy conversation about God, our true identity as God’s creations, and nutrition, which played a very important role in my healing process. My osteopath, who in addition to his medical advice, continually reminded me, as part of my treatment, who I really am. A Unity minister and his wife on the morning of my surgery stayed connected by phone with my husband in prayer. I shared the diagnosis with very few people, including family. But those who knew cared and prayed for my recovery. And my beloved husband gave boundless love; he was my constant companion, my rock, and my strength.

The love of all these angels showed me that love is possible even in this dream of separation and death.

© 2008, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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