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April-June, 2022

The Island

by Rev. Joyce Peebles, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Someone said, “The island of knowledge is surrounded by the shore of ignorance.” I am this island of Love surrounded by all my false beliefs. This ego body knows nothing of real knowledge for it was made for the opposite purpose, which is to prove I am a separate individual, somehow lacking and alone. This mindset is the ignorance Jesus is telling us about in A Course in Miracles.

I have felt guided, even “pushed” at times, to do things. This guidance is always provided in small increments, which I now know is related to my willingness to receive. It also seems to come on a need-to-know basis. The impatient side of me wants the whole enchilada now. Holy Spirit can only give me what I am willing to accept. My fear stands in the way. I have not always been willing to see my fear and resistance. Very slowly I am learning to trust what the Holy Spirit tells me is true.

Despite thinking of myself as spiritual and having this guidance, I have gone through this life being judgmental of myself and others and until most recently not knowing why. I was unaware that in reality I can not judge anyone but myself. What I see in the world is a projection of my own guilt onto others.

Asking to see clearly, I now can see many instances where I treated others insensitively. Enveloped in my own pain, I focused on getting my specialness needs met. My past reactions, being ego-based, did not focus on how other people might be affected by my actions. For the most part, I was concerned with how I felt about what others were doing to me. 

Elisabeth Kubler Ross wrote, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

At this time, I am practicing with love and compassion, rather than reacting from fear and anger.

ACIM tells us that thoughts are not neutral. What stood in the way of my understanding was believing I needed to analyze the world and clinging to the idea that I was a victim. With practice I am eliminating these ideas through quieting my mind and listening, thereby changing my perception of circumstances.

The mind is like an old-fashioned chalkboard. It is difficult to totally erase what has been written there. The writing can faintly be seen even after the initial attempt to erase has been done. The false thoughts in my mind are erased by my continued practice of forgiveness which replaces them with reality.

There are only two voices I can listen to. I have chosen ego thinking when I feel resistant to quieting myself and waiting for Guidance. It has been helpful to imagine putting a bubble around an ego thought and watching it float away.

I read lesson 356 (1:1-3) “Father, You promised you would never fail to answer any call your Son might make to You. It does not matter where he is, what seems to be his problems, nor what he believes he has become. He is Your Son, and You will answer Him.”

I came to this earth plane for only one reason — to heal my mind. In the forgiveness process I discovered there are no neutral thoughts, and the only one who could make me a victim or treat me unfairly was me.

The events in my “life” have not been random. Everything is truly for my best interest, as it has all been an opportunity for healing to occur. Each time I have screwed up, I have chosen to see differently, thereby erasing my faulty thinking from the chalkboard in my mind. What is more, I have been given these opportunities over and over until I finally learned the lessons. Ultimately, I will recognize the innocence beyond every circumstance and event. Salvation is the knowledge that I forgive myself for my mistaken thoughts of separation.

© 2022, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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