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January-March, 2014

The Blessings of A Course in Miracles

by Rev. Linda Wisniewski, O.M.C.

In my experience of sharing with other A Course in Miracles students, I hear discouragement and despair and belief in failure as they go through the Course. Some of the ways this is expressed is: “I thought I healed from this; why is it coming back into my life over and over again? I feel like such a failure; I still have the symptoms of this illness. What am I doing wrong? Why is it taking so long to awaken?”

I look at the above and I think, “Linda what are you projecting? Obviously, what you believe others are saying is really coming from your own doubt and questioning, from your own deluded mind.”

So, I looked at this and asked myself, “How have I been changed by the Course? How have I experienced the miracles the Course promises me, if I practice diligently?”

First of all, I had to ask myself what my expectation of A Course in Miracles was all about?

Well, I first really got into the Course after I was in a study group at Pathways of Light when we were studying Gary Renard’s Book, The Disappearance of the Universe. Before that, the Course didn’t make sense to me when I first read it. But Gary’s book was the bridge and once I picked it up and started to really get into it, I never looked back.

At first I thought that the miracle was that the illusion would change and I would have a perfect life — like perfect health, wealth and perfect relationships, a perfect job. So when that didn’t happen I thought “What gives? Isn’t A Course in Miracles about making Linda’s world perfect?”

When I first came to the Course, I still believed I was a victim of the world, blaming my lack of peace and happiness and my experience of sickness onto the world. If only others would change; if only I can find the perfect doctor; if only I could find the perfect relationship or fix the relationship I was in. “If only” was my mantra and I learned I was listening to the wrong teacher — the ego, whose mantra is seek and do not find.

Growing up Jewish, Holy Spirit wasn’t part of my experience and neither was Jesus. So it was hard to wrap my head around the idea that the Holy Spirit was the answer to the problem of separation that caused my suffering and that there was only one problem and one solution. Now that was radical. In the illusion, I was led to believe there were a million problems and I had to solve them by myself.

But one thing I grabbed hold of was that ACIM was a mind training program that asked only one thing of me. I didn’t have to agree with it or even understand it; I only had to have some willingness to work with it and practice the lessons in the workbook.

Initially I didn’t start from the beginning of the Workbook. The first 40 lessons just didn’t make sense to me, but I was willing to see things differently. My way wasn’t working and rarely worked, and if I thought it worked, it only was a temporary fix.

So, as the Course instructed, I went to Holy Spirit and asked for help. I started out by just asking Holy Spirit to lead me to a lesson that would really help me. I kid you not — for the first year of my study, I was consistently led to the Lesson 155: “I will step back and let Him lead the way.”

That was the first blessing and miracle because, after studying that lesson for a year and learning to step back, listen and receive guidance in quiet, I started experiencing more peace. I started learning that it wasn’t about changing the world; it was about changing my mind about the world and what I thought it was for. A Course in Miracles is a mind training program, not a program to make a better illusion. Mind training takes a lot of diligent practice and willingness. After all, it’s a 180 degree turnaround from the world’s thinking. The world of separation where ego rules has me believe that the answers lie in others and that the problem is out there. It tells me that when I’m not at peace, it’s because of something or someone else. The ego’s modus operandi is projection through attack. The Holy Spirit is about extension of Love.

So, instead of discouragement about how long it takes, I am encouraged by the effects of a healed mind — peace and calm, and for the first time in Linda’s life, I am liking my Self and feeling whole, not split. Instead of despair, I am grateful that my mind is being repaired by Holy Spirit, Who sees my innocence. I am learning that there is no guilt and therefore no need to atone for my “sins,” since I am blameless. After all, what did I do to believe I am so guilty and did something deserving of punishment, like making myself sick? All that seemed to happen is that I had a thought that pictured an existence separate from God. My only mistake was I forgot it was only a thought. In fact, I can’t be guilty for my thoughts; a thought can be changed.

Instead of feeling like a failure, I am in gratitude for the feedback I get from Holy Spirit, Who helps me see that I was created out of Love and Perfection. I am innocent.

Am I impatient because the changes aren’t happening fast enough? I was, until I realized that this is what time is for. Holy Spirit knows just what I need and when I need it so I will see the changes as a blessing and not a sacrifice. If the change came too quickly, it might be threatening, until I am really ready to give up something I had so heavily invested value in.

In this mind training program, Holy Spirit is helping me sort out the true from the false. This takes time and practice and willingness and trust that the Holy Spirit is in charge of the healing process and is helping me remember the Truth that only Love is real. There is no death, only Eternal Life. As the Course says, there is no order of difficulty in miracles. I know three years ago I was so frightened of the thought of death. I couldn’t talk about it. But by working with Spirit, my fear has greatly eased and I see that Love can never die. The essence of Love is eternal. The essence of Love is limitless and I, as Spirit created out of God’s Thought, am that limitless Love.

So, over the past eight years, have there been changes? Absolutely! I am in peace so much more of the time. I feel whole. I like myself. I don’t panic when I get bodily symptoms because I am more and more understanding that they only come to let me know there is still a need for mind healing. I no longer feel alone but know that God has never abandoned me and Holy Spirit is available 24/7. And I keep awakening to more truth day by day. The veil of darkness is being lifted. All this has resulted from my willingness to daily practice the Course and have Holy Spirit be my Teacher. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for the daily miracles, the mind healing which is setting me free.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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