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October-December, 2013

The Raging River of Life

by Rev. Maria Kingsley, O.M.C.

Every morning my husband and I sit down and look at what we need to work on. We both use the Course to guide us in letting go what does not work, in forgiving and allowing all things. It is amazing how many issues can come up when you are determined to let go of worldly thoughts and perceptions. We have been doing this for a long time now, and yet there are feelings of judgment and fear that present themselves to be looked at almost daily.

When we sit down, it is either my turn or his to focus on an issue that we have noticed throughout the day or week that we want to let go of. I am so grateful for this time and for his willingness to sit down with his or my issues and allow them to be looked at. It feels so right to do this work together and so, even though it does not feel like a holy moment, it always is just that.

As we focus on whatever issue we look at, we do some tapping along with it. Tapping, as some of you may know, is Emotional Freedom Technique, which works with energy and is wonderfully effective and allows emotions to be quickly reduced so your mind is clear and can see things differently.

To me this has been critical because it cuts time and fear down and lets me be clear about what I really want. The founder of EFT, Gary Craig, has put A Course in Miracles on his website and I love that he is following this way also.

What I really want is the peace of God because nothing else is really worth pursuing.

However, some core issues hide in the back of my mind and it takes some digging, or patience, for them to come to the surface to be let go. Recently I discovered that I had a fear of ‘engaging with life’. It has held me back for a long time, but it was now time to look at it. There is always some embarrassment involved in bringing up such sensitive issues, but when I see no judgment coming from him, I feel it’s okay to look at it without feeling guilty.

So as I was doing my self-talk and tapping away, I realized that I had been going around in circles in a quiet eddy next to a raging river. I was afraid of the raging river and did not want to be carried off to some dangerous and uncertain ride. I saw this so clearly in my mind. I felt the safety of the eddy, and the awfully raging river passing just a few feet away from me. I was going around and around in my little boat, not even looking in the direction of the river, but, of course, knowing full well it is there.

I saw the river as raging, dangerous and unmanageable. I saw it as a force that wants to hurt and cannot be maneuvered easily. I didn’t know how, and it was too much to really try.

I asked the Holy Spirit to help me see it differently. I was finally tired of going around in circles and avoiding life and not engaging with it. The Holy Spirit gave me this wonderful insight:

The river could be looked at differently. Instead of a huge raging force, I could now see it as a gentle and safe waterway. The song, Row, Row, Row Your Boat Gently Down the Stream, came to mind. So it lost its frightfulness. But there was more. I saw that the ‘force’ was a gentle strength that was creative like the water is creative. It sees boulders and rocks and trees, not as obstacles, but it adapts to its presence and moves around or under, over or next to it. It is not harmed or held back by any of it, and so it is very creative in its way of including and allowing all things to be as they are. There is nothing to fear.

Several lessons from the Course came to mind right away: God is the strength in which I trust; I am sustained by the Love of God; My thoughts are images that I have made, etc. I then felt such gratitude for this new way of seeing and applying creativity to these images, changing them to see God’s Love flowing through it all. How silly it was to see danger anywhere in the world when I am guided by such a creative gentle power. As I felt this gratitude, I could feel the presence of celestial helpers coming in. It seemed that they went through my body and showered me with an internal effervescence. It was a delightful, tingly feeling of joining, and happiness was flowing from them to me and from me to them.

I am so grateful for this experience, and for my husband to allow me to bring such issues to the table. And I would not have been able to see things differently if the Holy Spirit had not helped me. We are all truly blessed with so much help and creative ways to see things differently.

So I now can leave my eddy and join the stream of life… not alone but with the mighty Guide of Creative Power. Water showed me the way. All things are lessons God would have me learn. The final outcome is joy. And I choose joy. Thank you.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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