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January-March, 2020

Transforming Guilt into Kindness

by Revs. Mary & Robert Stoelting

What is kindness? Kindness is an attribute of Love. How do we return to being aware of the Love we all are?

In A Course in Miracles we are told,

“Praise be to you who make the Father one with His Own Son. Alone we are all lowly, but together we shine with brightness so intense that none of us alone can even think of it. Before the glorious radiance of the Kingdom guilt melts away and, transformed into kindness, will never more be what it was.” (T-13.X.14:1-3, underline added)

Our journey is a journey of mind healing. When we forget the fact that nothing has happened to change the unity of God’s one Son, we are forgetting that everyone in this dream world is still changeless Love as God created them. It is not a happy experience to forget that only eternal Love is real. When we are not happy, we are not being kind to ourselves or others.

Over the years we have made it a practice of joining together to notice when we get caught up in the ego’s dream of seeing guilt outside us. One important clue that helps us is to pay attention to when we start judging and making a big deal in our minds about someone’s behavior. We have noticed that we are not happy or peaceful when we are judging another and we are only hurting ourselves by holding on to these thoughts.

Once we recognize that we are judging, we can then step back and invite the Holy Spirit to heal our minds. As we do this, we receive a change of mind about the situation. We experience the gentle truth that guilt gets transformed into kindness. We find that as we move into the mindset of kindness, awareness of Love’s presence returns to our troubled minds.

In the Course we are told, “The grace of God rests gently on forgiving eyes, and everything they look on speaks of Him to the beholder. He can see no evil; nothing in the world to fear, and no one who is different from himself. 

…The kindness of his sight rests on himself with all the tenderness it offers others. For he would only heal and only bless. And being in accord with what God wills, he has the power to heal and bless all those he looks on with the grace of God upon his sight.” (T-25.VI.1:1-2, 6-8)

Examples of Applying This in Our Lives

Mary: I found myself getting upset when I did not receive the product I ordered online for a recipe I wanted to make. It turns out that the product I ordered was sent to another address which also had the word “Oak” in it.

When we asked the company to send it to the correct address, they asked us to drive to the post office and request the needed proof that it wasn’t delivered to our address. I again found myself getting upset and thought that the 50 minutes it took for us to get verification from the post office of where the product was mailed was enough reason to be disgruntled.

After taking the time to go to an inner place of peace, the Holy Spirit helped me realize that I was not being kind to myself or my brother by getting angry about what I thought was going on. From this place of inner quiet it came to me that this was a perfect example of how I was judging the situation and was projecting guilt instead of extending kindness.

I mentally thanked the company for helping me with this important lesson to see when I was projecting guilt and to allow these thoughts to be transformed into kindness, an attribute of Love. I felt such gratitude that this experience, which I brought upon myself, was being healed as I let my mind be transformed by the Holy Spirit.

Robert: Last spring I spent 10 days in the hospital. During that time I was inspired to focus on appreciation for all that the experience presented to me. There were many opportunities. When nurses came in several times during the night, I felt happy to see them and naturally smiled. I felt and expressed gratitude for the help that the staff gave when I needed help.

Sometimes when I asked for help, the response seemed slow. But I remembered that I had no idea what caused the delay. It was not for me to have an opinion. I was reminded to be grateful that I was okay and help would arrive in plenty of time. I returned to an attitude of gratitude and felt peaceful.

One of the nurses talked about how stressful it was to her when patients expressed impatience and anger toward her. I was inspired to remind her that it was not personal. The patients were just afraid and feeling out of control, so they were projecting their fear on her. She could mentally let the projection pass by like a bullfighter says “olé.”

Another nurse who came in several nights during my stay said I was her favorite patient because I was always happy and smiling. I often called those who came to my room earth angels, from the janitors and plumber to the technicians, doctors and administrators. They all felt like angels to me.

In an environment where people come because they are physically uncomfortable and usually unhappy with their situation, it can be helpful for their caregivers to be offered the gift of appreciation for their service. They are there because they are motivated to give. Appreciation for their gifts recharges their motivation.

Though I remember I was there because of a physical need, I do not remember any pain. My focus on appreciation turned out to be a blessing for me as well. When I think of the experience, I remember the help and kindness of all those I met. And I smile.

Practice, Practice, Practice

As we continue to make it a daily practice of letting the Holy Spirit fill our minds with peace, patience and forgiveness, we become more aware of how much we are loved and how much we love every brother.

In Lesson 157 of the Workbook for Students we are told, “This day is holy, for it ushers in a new experience; a different kind of feeling and awareness. You have spent long days and nights in celebrating death. Today you learn to feel the joy of life.”

“From this day forth, your ministry takes on a genuine devotion, and a glow that travels from your fingertips to those you touch, and blesses those you look upon. A vision reaches every­one you meet, and everyone you think of, or who thinks of you. For your experience today will so transform your mind that it becomes the touchstone for the holy Thoughts of God.”

“…the Holy One, the Giver of the happy dreams of life, Translator of perception into truth, the holy Guide to Heaven given you, has dreamed for you this journey which you make and start today, with the experience this day holds out to you to be your own.”

Every brother is one with us in the Self Love created like Itself. Every thought we accept in our mind is heard throughout the Sonship. Our only real Thoughts are the Thoughts of Love we share with God. Thus our Thoughts of Love are a blessing to the world as much as they are a blessing to our Self.

We are unaware of the ongoing Thoughts of Love in our mind while we give our allegiance to the ego, which denies Love. This allegiance leads to dreams of guilt and fear. But we can choose to give our allegiance to the Holy Spirit, Who dreams for us a dream of expressions of Love, peace and happiness. We cannot serve two masters simultaneously. We serve either the ego or the Holy Spirit.

We enter into God’s presence by choosing the Holy Spirit to guide our dream. With His guidance, we learn to let go of the past, for His lesson teaches that the past is gone and cannot affect us now. With His help our dream becomes a dream of kindness, gentleness, peace and happiness. We join you in the happy practice of choosing this today.

© 2019, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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