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July-September, 2013

Trusting the Starting Point

by Rev. Ken Gorman, O.M.C.

What is the starting point? My understanding is that what we really are is what we have always been and never changes. It is indestructible, unchangeable and will always be. Because it is so profound, it is difficult to put a label on it, but some that work for me are Basic Goodness, Infinite Awareness, Unlimited Consciousness, Boundless Joy and, of course, just plain old perfect… Simple Love.

If we knew this is what we really are, we would have no fear or resistance to spiritual practices and have no reason not to embrace fully and live everything the Course teaches us. If we knew this was our true Reality, we would never fear anything that was happening in the illusory world, even the death of the body, because nothing could change this truth about us.

But a lot of people like me do still experience fear and anxiety and seem to spend a lot of time separated from the
awareness of our true nature. What is happening? I like to think that it is just a matter of our natural, indestructible radiance being temporarily covered or our awareness very momentarily (from a cosmic perspective) being distracted. Nothing really happens, like the clouds blocking the sun, the sun is still shining brightly and will eventually break through when the clouds inevitably pass or dissolve.

This concept is expressed to us in the first paragraph of the Course when it states, “This Course does not aim at teaching the meaning of Love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence…” (Intro.1.6-7)

If this is true, then the next question is, “What is the nature of what is blocking my awareness to Love and how do I let it go?” The Course (for me) answers this.

Basically this is primarily habitual, negative thinking mostly centered on grievances. The Course teaches us that “My Grievances Hide the Light of the World in Me.” (ACIM Lesson 69) It is also interesting how one of the foundation elements for the basic 12 Step program is identifying and letting go of ‘resentments’ to attain ‘emotional sobriety’ to avoid ‘blocking the Sunlight of the Spirit.’

This negative thinking or negative story lines that our ego tries to get us to buy into create dark clouds which block our awareness of the light. If one story line (like pride) does not work, the ego will try another of our favorites — maybe, ‘poor me’ or ‘jealous’ or ‘lust’ or ‘indignation’ and then back again to ‘pride’ — until it finds a channel we will buy into; anything to keep the clouds building. The ego’s favorite trick is for me to make up a perceived threat, then formulate a defense to the imagined attack, then run a script for how this will unfold and round and round it goes.

When we realize this is all just in our mind and stop following the stories by surrendering them to Holy Spirit and practicing forgiveness, we are left with the Starting Point — our true nature as Brilliant Radiance wanting to shine and express itself as pure Love.

This concept has been one of the most helpful to me in me in my practice and I always know it is there, even if it feels ‘down there’ sometimes, just waiting for me. There is nowhere to go, no transitions into something else that I am not now and really nothing to do other than letting Holy Spirit remove my addiction to the negative stories in my mind I have been making real for so long and letting who we all are shine into my awareness.

© 2013, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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