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October-December, 2020

Wanting the Peace of God

by Rev. Larry Glenz, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

On the first page in the Text of A Course in Miracles it says:

“This course can therefore be summed up very simply in this way:

Herein lies the peace of God.”

The first paragraph that precedes this one speaks of “removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence.” Upon reading this for the first time, I wondered if I might be ready to learn how to remove these blocks.

In the fall of 1994 I attended a presentation by Marianne Williamson in mid-town Manhattan. A close friend had given me an audiotape of her first book, A Return to Love. Whatever it was that she was speaking about, I wanted to know more.

Following her performance in NYC, I bought the three books of A Course in Miracles – the Text, the Workbook, and the Manual for Teachers. From just listening to Marianne, I became inspired to start doing the daily lessons of the Workbook. I started with Lesson 1 on the train ride home from the city.

I had very little background in spirituality. I had been a self-professed agnostic for decades. But at age 44, during the first year of my divorce, I was searching for some inner strength to handle my fears about going forward.

But words like, “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists.” sounded stupid to me. Who could believe such nonsense? What could that possibly mean?

Despite having doubts about my understanding of these metaphysical concepts, I could recognize that through the Workbook lessons, I was developing a relationship with God and His Voice, the Holy Spirit.

Throughout my early study of the Course, I had many doubts that I would be able to follow my new Guide. I certainly didn’t feel sinless. I didn’t feel blessed as a Son of God. I could not see myself as the light of the world.

I didn’t believe my attack thoughts hurt me. I could not accept that forgiveness was my only function and the key to my happiness. I was new to getting still and meditating. I often felt like I was wasting time. Getting quiet and listening to God was a chore, not an inspiration.

The idea that I could experience the peace of God did not come easily to my mind. Forgiveness did not appear to be deserved and Christ’s vision just did not seem attainable.

I did, however, realize that I wanted the peace of God. Who would not want that, I thought?

By doing the lessons every morning and throughout the day, I was developing a new relationship with the Voice for God. I was speaking directly to God through my new connection to the Holy Spirit.

Although I was more than a little confused about how or when I was going to feel the peace of God, Holy Spirit guaranteed it in the lessons. Holy Spirit — God’s Voice — and I had conversations. We had formed a relationship through my devotion to the Workbook lessons.

Little by little, I began to hand my ego thoughts over to Holy Spirit. His Voice was with me and I began to contact It with my thoughts. I was being asked to let go of my thoughts of judgment. There have been constant reminders that I do not know my own best interests. But He does!

If the end result that I was seeking was the peace of God, how could I possibly understand that “Nothing real can be threatened? Nothing unreal exists.”

Aren’t my wife and family real? They can be threatened, no? Isn’t my job, my home, my car, real?  There are real threats to all of these things. Is it worth my time to continue with this metaphysical nonsense?

There was no question that I had my doubts about it. My friend, Murph, was the person who gave me the audiotape and came to the Marianne Williamson’s presentation with me. He was the only person with whom I wanted to talk to about this. I believed everyone else would think this is all crazy.

Despite these doubts, I never skipped a day of doing the lessons. I stayed with a lesson for an extra day if I thought I had not given it the proper attention needed. On some level I believed that my study of the Course was preordained; that this was meant for me.

I felt that the book in my hands was a document of pure truth. I never said that to anyone. I kept a handwritten copy of the lesson of the day in my back pocket. I would take it out whenever I had a break and no one was around.

This was my secret. I could never discuss with anyone that there is no world. I was being taught that everything I was experiencing was a dream. None of it was real. The only thing that is real is God’s Love.

Now more than 25 years later, I have been shaped by these concepts. I believe I have been given the gift of great strength to handle whatever difficulties come my way.

Although I certainly have not mastered the process, I put my Higher Power, the Holy Spirit, in charge of my life. He has helped me to overcome so many challenges that my confidence in the process continues to be strengthened.

I do not have to convince others of these metaphysical concepts. I do enjoy sharing them with other Course students, however. My confidence in the value of these teachings continues to peak.

My ministry with Pathways of Light has become a delightful part of this dream I call my life. My gratitude for having these like-minded people with me in this dream is very strong.

My personal relationships on all levels of this dream have improved. I experience more love in my life every day. I try to accept things as there are. I let go of judgments and give them over to Holy Spirit. I can feel God using me as one of His teachers.

I believe “Herein lies the peace of God.”

© 2020, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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