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January-March, 2023

What Do I Really Want?

by Rev. Christine Anderson, Ordained Ministerial Counselor

Last year I was living at my son’s house and my granddaughter stayed at my son’s on occasion. I have a good rapport with my granddaughter and love her very much. However, with her being a high school student and having friends, we weren’t able to spend much time together.

At that time I was in the process of letting go of material possessions. I had gathered a lot of things to fill the emptiness that was in me that came from not being aware of Love’s presence that was always within me, but I didn’t know it. So I collected a lot of things that I thought would fill the emptiness and it was time to start letting go of some of those things. By the way folks, the emptiness I spoke of is not real. It is an illusion. I made it up, so I can give it up. I am only Love. That is the only way God sees me. And that’s the way I want to see myself.

So, I had an idea to give my granddaughter some of my jewelry pieces and jewelry making supplies. I asked her if this was okay with her, and she agreed that she would be willing to receive these items. So, I asked her to help me to go get a few things from my collection and she was very excited and pleased with this idea. I had made form very important in my life and had put a lot of value on form, not realizing I was trading everything for nothing.

I saw her excitement as I gave her the items and I was so happy when she started to make things from the supplies. So it turned out that the items were given a good use.

Then one day when we joined together to visit, I looked and I saw a piece of my jewelry around her neck. It almost took my breath away. It was a pendant I didn’t realize she had found. I didn’t formally give it to her and so I was really taken aback. And so I said to her “I didn’t intend for you to have that; would you mind giving it back?” Then I saw the sadness that came over her. I listened to what I had said and I was so alarmed at this.

Suddenly Spirit came to my mind and I wanted to step back and rethink this. So I said to her “Wait a minute; no. Let me go to Spirit and rethink this again.” And I thought to myself, “What am I teaching her if I take this back? I’m teaching her that form is more important that Love. I want my granddaughter to know she is a beautiful child of God and that she is loved without conditions.”

After taking a moment to receive Spirit’s help, I said to my granddaughter, “I want you to keep the pendant; it looks beautiful on you and I’m glad that you want to wear something that belonged to me.” She received this message with great happiness and she told me that she is going to make something for me. So now I know that she’s in the mode of giving and receiving and that as she grows up her spiritual life will mature in this. I know she is God’s Love, and that she will be alright.

After this happened, I reviewed in my mind what took place and I asked myself, “What do I really want? What do I want for me and my granddaughter? Do I want us to continue the game of the ego, making form more important than love?  Or do I want to give my granddaughter the message that Love is the only thing that’s real, and that she is that Love and so am I?”

What I truly want is the Peace of God, the Love of God, the joy of God, and the well being of God. I already have it and I know its within me and within my granddaughter too. I’m grateful for the lesson that I was given and for the Love that came through the Holy Spirit to help me see that only Love is real and that I can continue to let go of form. I’m still learning and still growing. God’s Love is what I’m worthy and deserving of.

I am so grateful to realize that the Holy Spirit is working on my behalf in my life, helping me to see that everything is in good order and everything is alright, and I can relax now. Regarding my granddaughter, I feel so grateful to realize now that Holy Spirit repurposed that pendant to be a tool of healing for my granddaughter and myself.

Looking back I see how form used by the Holy Spirit can bring an awakening to a greater awareness of Love. This experience has helped me to see that the Reality of Spirit is real, yes indeed. It is real and I appreciate lessons like this one to help me see in a very gentle, wonderful way that I’m not going to lose anything when I let go of form.

I realize now that form can be used by Holy Spirit in a wonderful way. I don’t have to be afraid of form because I know great good can come through the Holy Spirit’s use of form while we’re in this dream. I feel so blessed and now I can rest knowing that I have a wonderful friend, the Holy Spirit, who is always with me to guide me through all situations to the Truth of my being and the Truth that is in all things.

© 2022, Pathways of Light. https://www.pathwaysoflight.org
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