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Gentle Healing Journal Day 21 10-7-18

Journal for Day 21
LESSON 21
I am determined to see things differently.

“You will become increasingly aware that a slight twinge of annoyance is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.”

This is one of those statements in the Course that changed everything for me. Before this, I believed that there were degrees of anger. I still sometimes say that I am annoyed or irritated, but that desire to mitigate the rage is always followed by the awareness that I am kidding myself. Sometimes, I am blessed with the actual undisguised rage. It will just rise up in me and let me see it. It is a blessing because it takes me out of denial and I understand how destructive it is, and I become certain that I have no desire to keep it.

I thought I would have a hard time finding anger. I seldom get angry anymore, I thought. But Jesus said to “Remember that you do not really recognize what arouses anger in you, and nothing that you believe in this connection means anything.” As I opened myself to guidance in this, and became willing to see whatever needs to be seen, it became clear that I do have unacknowledged anger. Shoot, it even makes me angry that I have this work to do, that I had been fooling myself about this. But I am determined to see this differently.

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