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Gentle Healing Journal Day 72. 12-17-18

Journal for Day 72
LESSON 68
Love holds no grievances.

“To hold a grievance is to forget who you are.”

Holding grievances keeps us asleep dreaming of a life filled with hatred, fear, guilt, pain, and death. It keeps us afraid of a God that we imagine must be like us. There is not a grievance in the world that is so important to me that I am not willing to release it. I want to remember who I am. I want to remember God as He is, not as I have made Him. I want to wake up and go Home. I cannot do that holding onto a grievance.

I don’t think that it matters if a grievance feels major to me or if it feels like a minor one, any grievance is an impediment to my purpose. I don’t have any grievances that loom big in my mind now, I haven’t for a long time. The only way I can find a grievance now is to ask myself what I wish were different in my life. I wish I could believe my dear friend was safe.

So I guess I could see this as a grievance against my friend, maybe? It hurts my heart that he believes his addiction makes him less than he was. His depression scares me. Thinking about him makes me want to say something that fixes him. All of that is code that maintains the illusion and can be seen as a grievance. I don’t want that anymore.

None of this is real, not the story of Myron, and not the story of my friend. But before I can have the real, I must let go of the code for the fearful, guilt ridden illusion of the ego mind. I must accept the code for the Atonement that is represented by the happy dream in which I have no grievances.

I have tried to see his situation differently and have made great strides, and yet, I still hang onto the story as if it is real. I act as if this story having an ending I can love is my most urgent need. If I look at my beliefs about my friend and his situation as code, it is easier for me to be dispassionate about it. I wonder if this is the way I can finally see this differently.

Neither code is real, but one is more helpful and it is the only one that is in alignment with my purpose. I choose that code for my illusion. I am going to continue this practice, releasing the old code so that this new code can write a different story. I can imagine a truer story, one in which I see my friend as another part of the Sonship dreaming his way home just as I am, rather than a separate person, someone lost and suffering and possibly heading for tragedy.

To read about the Code:
https://awakening-together.org/the-code/

Regina’s Tips
Two specific parts of ‘What the Bleep’ are with me today as I contemplate Lesson 68, Love holds no grievances:

1 – Our brain processes over 4 billion bits of data per second, but we only aware of about 2000 bits of data per second. We select the data that is most related to our individual body, and pay attention only to that.

2 – At the quantum level, one thing can appear in many places simultaneously.

These have communicated in my mind in this way:
Our one awareness is the one observer. It appears to be in many places at one time—in many bodies at one time—but it is one awareness. However, at the experiential world level, when awareness sees through a particular body it biasedly selects only the perceptional data that it feels pertains to it. This is the limited individual point of view and the idea of ‘me’.

So as I contemplate, “Love holds no grievances,” it has morphed for me. “Grievance” is redefined as ‘limited and biased point-of-view’. In other words, “Love holds no grievances” for me today means:

Love—wholeness, or the awareness of totality as my Self—holds no limited and biased point-of-view.

As a result of this contemplation, my awareness is noticing and questioning ‘personal’ points of view today whether it appears to be a grievance or not.

My thoughts
That’s a really good point that Regina makes. I want to hold no grievances, but at the same time, I can look at it as my Self holds no limited and biased point of view.

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